Life of Approvals


IMG_7883.jpg

There comes a time in a life where you feel like you are facing a wall. You are stuck, you can’t get over it, you feel so small. Sometimes everything happens at once and sometimes nothing happens at all. You can’t make a decision so you sit there crying and your eyes you bawl. Forgetting that this is your life and you must stand tall.

All that only happens only when you look towards others to make your decisions for you. Instead of hearing your own heart and listening to what it wants you to do. Recently someone told me get rid of your emotions will you? And I sit there and question with a dead heart how are you supposed to survive this life through? How do you walk around pretending you are OK and inside you don’t feel gray and blue? It is very easy for some while it becomes an everyday battle for some in their own shoes. To get up and pretend as their lives pass through. Their hearts already dead just waiting for them to be dead too. And this is a life story of so many if only you knew.

Can I do this? Can I do that? Asking others for approvals for things you actually want to do. Goals you want to achieve, visions you want to make true. And then someone answers no and you sit there think ‘maybe they are right and I am not capable for this to do.’ You keep hearing disapprovals from others that you end up living the average life as others do. Forgetting that the One who created you never limited your goals and visions and that He is the One who inspires you to do. He controls your Hearts and is the One who puts those feelings in your hearts for you.

And here you are being silly asking for approval from His creation as if they control you. Not standing up for yourself and what you want to do. Living to please others, scared they might not like you. Giving others power over yourself when God is the One holding all power and He is the One who created you. Letting your heart die and then feeling sorry for yourself too. When will you stand up for yourself and you decisions. Please tell me that will you? Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Will it be too late? Or will you find the courage to do it soon?

Beautiful Distractions


 

IMG_6475

What is this world but a beautiful distraction? Something towards which we feel attraction. To our eyes it brings satisfaction. Our words may say something else but we give a total different message through our actions.

In this world it is so easy to get lost. Even if we can see a clear view, it is a matter of seconds for our focus to get lost. Getting into accidents because our road something crossed. Getting distracted then wondering why in the race we came last. Trying to achieve the best of this world at any cost.

This world failing us over and over again. We turn wise for a while then run after it without any shame. We want to fall down and keep looking for someone to finally understand our pain. So we look for that in other people and sit there to complain and complain. It’s a constant cycle as if we have built a chain. We complain and they complain as if we are saving each other from going down the drain. But why are we so deaf dumb and blind that we don’t use our brain?

We ourselves are responsible for creating the biggest barrier between our happiness. How insane! We know we will all go in the grave one day but we fill it up with mud as if that’s not a real thing. That is when we lose our focus, what a shame! So that is when the race begins, our hearts full of stains. Trying to justify our actions by saying but please let me explain.

Our heads confused and our hearts full of pain. Not being thankful for each and every grain. Forgetting the blessing of seeing through our eyes and getting annoyed with when it rains. So busy capturing moments on a camera that we forget what was the real thing. Sitting together with real people yet busy on our phones playing games. Then when they die we remember them as our main.

So why do we complain for all that pain? When we caused it all by ourselves because we went off the lane. When we are the ones who couldn’t stop ourselves and restrain. When we are the ones who wanted the best of this world and keep running after this train. When we are clearly given the real focus of this life and what we are really here to attain. Why do we still complain? Losing our happiness and focus and causing ourselves to drain. Oh what a shame!  What a shame!

It’s been a long time.


IMG_20150618_180819

this way to home.

It’s been a long time when out of nowhere with these words I stopped.In the race of this life there are so many holes and traps over which you always have to hop. Sometimes you can run past them as fast as you can while other times you end up falling in those holes deeper than it was actually planned. It all really depends on what is in your heart. What your intentions are, where do you want to go and where did you start? If your intentions are to run home then there will be no stop for you no matter how many roads you find blocked. But if your intentions are to look around and make some stops here and there then know that you are bound to drop.

By dropping in the hole I don’t mean that’s your end. Remember it is about the intentions and where we actually began. Just by falling does not mean you will now stay in that trap. If your heart remembers the real goal of running home you will eventually begin to suffocate in that plastic wrap. But if your heart has moved far away, it will sit there lost and confused not knowing where to look and what to grab. It is all really a self process of how fast you can bring yourself back. Truly it is the intentions of our hearts that we really need to track.

Sometimes we run as fast as we can. But other times we fall not remembering our life purpose and where we began. Sometimes all it takes is a prayer or a thought to bring ourselves back. And other times we sit there with our confused minds, the ability to get up again we lack. It is all a struggle and everyday we get attacked. To check how far you have come is the only time you should look back!

Piece of your mind.


IMG_20150222_180533

Splash of colours for sunset today had me thinking.

It is that time where you must give them a piece of your mind. Just because you were quiet does not mean you were blind. They kept taking advantage because you have always been so kind. But you must sit with yourself and look at how Self Respect is defined. How you have always been thrown of by them, to yourself you must remind. It is finally time to respect your morals and values and let all those words out that you have combined. In yourself that inner strength, that lost soul you must find. And finally give them a piece of your mind.

Don’t remind an arrogant how to them you have always been so kind. All that you have done, to a selfish person don’t remind.  Every time you were there for them, don’t look at the past that you have left behind. Just do this to get your self respect back and hit them with reality that all this time you were not blind. You deserve so much better than what has been left behind.

But in order to move on to the next chapter, you must close this one by giving them a piece of your mind.

If it comes back its yours?


Lunch at work and some "me" time at all time favorite spot.

Lunch at work and some “me” time at all time favorite spot.

Once again let’s talk about letting it go. If it comes back it is yours, of that how are you sure? Perhaps it came back for you as a test if you can once again let it go? Why are you looking back at those closed doors?

Within those closed doors was once where you felt secure. Till one day when it pushed up back and on your face it closed. And up till this day you think for your heart ache that is where you will find the cure.

You try to be patient till God finally will open the next door. At times you get impatient and about what’s ahead you seem unsure. Ignoring that God is with the patient ones (Surah Al-Baqarah) and to you again and again He assures.

So why can’t you let it go  what you once called yours? Why can’t you trust that something better is planned for you at the next door?

Something better for all that you endured. Something better where your heart will feel secure. Something better that you can finally call yours.

Loyalty


IMG_20150131_113420

the blue one doesn’t like me.

Who is more loyal, we can’t seem to decide. Who prayed for you? Those tears who cried? Why are you always judged by others on how much you tried. Why all of a sudden all the truth disappears and you remember that one time they lied? Why do you remember only the things they denied? And why don’t you remember when with you they were side by side?

We are constantly worried over if we are loyal to others that we forget ourselves. To others we do so much to prove ourselves that we keep filling that never ending shelf. Somewhere along that time is when we forget ourselves. The words we say, the standards we create, the respect we deserve; for all these things to remind ourselves we often end up needing others help.

Are we even loyal to ourselves? Do we even stick with the words we say? I understand the heart is constantly changing but how easily can we ourselves change? How easy it is to fool someone for own means and with their hearts we play? And here we sit trying to convince ourselves that we are loyal! we are loyal! just because we pray?

It is difficult enough to figure out our own intentions at times so how can we know with certainty the intentions of others and decide against the words they say? Who can we trust? not even ourselves we don’t know who is there to stay?

I am confused with loyalty and these standards everyone creates. No matter what you do they still find something to pin point and hate. I am done with being loyal to others and rather be loyal to myself and live day by day. I think I am just going to walk my own way.

Selfish love


It's not always about you.

These cupcakes from a friend’s bridal party reminding me that it’s not always about you.

Maybe It’s weird that I am thinking about love while being in bed because of fever and flu. Is it selfish or not? For some it is sadly that is true. There is selfishness in a type of love that only makes you think about you. The other person is always wrong and only you can be true. Only you have a thinking and you don’t try to understand the other person’s point of view. You never bother to look at things or try walking in the other person’s shoes. What you like, what you want is the only thing others should do. And then you get frustrated when things don’t remain the same between you. And you ignore that once these people were truer than true. Is this really love? Sadly yes and we all have that within us including me and you.

There has been times in our lives when we have either been an example of this or been treated like this by someone we knew. And we have only realized this when we stepped back and looked at the situation from a different point of view. Sometimes we are totally wrong but sometimes others don’t understand us even if we are true.  As if all of a sudden they are deaf, dumb and blind and sometimes that is exactly the reason why from them faraway we grew. Which is actually surprising because once upon a time we used to be stuck together like glue.

The ones who understand the meaning of love are actually very few. The ones who like others for who they are and are not trying to change them into an ideal image they drew. Who not only talk but have the patience to understand the other person’s point of view. And those who have the courage to actually walk in other people’s shoes. What others like they actually step out of their comfort zone to try it too.

Truth be told the unselfish love is not found in this world even if we try searching for it all the way through. Because The One who loves us unconditionally is the One who created me and you. The reason we get frustrated is because we are searching for love that will fill this space in our hearts and be always true. But that space is only filled with God’s love, the reason why to Him we always turn to. But sadly because of searching for love in this world from Him faraway we drew.

And then you spend hours and days thinking over why you can’t work things out between others and you?  Why can’t others try to understand your point of view?  It is only because you are thinking about yourself and sometimes you are called selfish too. Yet you still search for that unconditional love and sadly you want it while you still think about only yourself too.

A sleepless night


IMG_20141018_193945

There are nights when you can’t fall asleep. Your heart wants to talk and your eyes want to weep. You don’t know where life is going, the road ahead looks very steep. You don’t know what to count on, you don’t know what is there to keep. You don’t know the traps ahead you don’t know when to jump and leap. So you lay there in the dark wondering, sighing and taking breathes that are deep. Hoping that in a while someone will come looking for you and take you back home as if you are a lost sheep…

What brings peace to your heart is that there is Someone else who knows all these thoughts tonight that are hidden within you very deep. What puts you sleep at the end is that there is Someone who will protect you from those puddles and will teach you when to jump and leap. The one who created your heart is who it wants to connect to and to Him your eyes want to complain to and weep. And here you are wondering what is wrong with life and why you can’t sleep…

Worldly trend.


IMG_20141213_004915Countless lessons you keep learning as His blessings He sends. To be wise is one thing but there was a time on this world you continued to spend. You were searching for happiness as if it is a worldly trend. Till you realized that it is all a game to pretend. Till you learned that we are all the same and on each other we can’t really depend. Till you felt the happiness from giving just for God’s sake and the times a helping hand you lend. Till you started having conversations with people you didn’t know as if for many years you have been friends…

The pain you feel.


IMG_5459

one of the favorite from fall season I took.

The pain you feel in your heart from not getting what you wanted to happen someday it will outgrow. It will take a month or two or even years give it time it will be slow. There will be times where you will have no strength to face this world and you will feel low. There will be times you will be lost in your thoughts trying to figure out where you went wrong though. There will also be times you will be annoyed and you will ignore all the other blessings on you that has been bestowed. But it’s okay let it all out so you can let it go. Because to see the beauty of your current situations the past thoughts and plans you need to get rid of and throw. Eventually you will get used to it all and start liking your routine but sometimes you will think of everything that you wanted to happen though.  Those thoughts come back to you not to annoy but to make you realize and show. That you can also be happy in a place that you never wanted to go. Always remember He knows what you do not know (Surah al-baqarah). And a day will come sooner or later when God will reveal it to you and show.