Life of Approvals


IMG_7883.jpg

There comes a time in a life where you feel like you are facing a wall. You are stuck, you can’t get over it, you feel so small. Sometimes everything happens at once and sometimes nothing happens at all. You can’t make a decision so you sit there crying and your eyes you bawl. Forgetting that this is your life and you must stand tall.

All that only happens only when you look towards others to make your decisions for you. Instead of hearing your own heart and listening to what it wants you to do. Recently someone told me get rid of your emotions will you? And I sit there and question with a dead heart how are you supposed to survive this life through? How do you walk around pretending you are OK and inside you don’t feel gray and blue? It is very easy for some while it becomes an everyday battle for some in their own shoes. To get up and pretend as their lives pass through. Their hearts already dead just waiting for them to be dead too. And this is a life story of so many if only you knew.

Can I do this? Can I do that? Asking others for approvals for things you actually want to do. Goals you want to achieve, visions you want to make true. And then someone answers no and you sit there think ‘maybe they are right and I am not capable for this to do.’ You keep hearing disapprovals from others that you end up living the average life as others do. Forgetting that the One who created you never limited your goals and visions and that He is the One who inspires you to do. He controls your Hearts and is the One who puts those feelings in your hearts for you.

And here you are being silly asking for approval from His creation as if they control you. Not standing up for yourself and what you want to do. Living to please others, scared they might not like you. Giving others power over yourself when God is the One holding all power and He is the One who created you. Letting your heart die and then feeling sorry for yourself too. When will you stand up for yourself and you decisions. Please tell me that will you? Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Will it be too late? Or will you find the courage to do it soon?

Advertisements

Beautiful Distractions


 

IMG_6475

What is this world but a beautiful distraction? Something towards which we feel attraction. To our eyes it brings satisfaction. Our words may say something else but we give a total different message through our actions.

In this world it is so easy to get lost. Even if we can see a clear view, it is a matter of seconds for our focus to get lost. Getting into accidents because our road something crossed. Getting distracted then wondering why in the race we came last. Trying to achieve the best of this world at any cost.

This world failing us over and over again. We turn wise for a while then run after it without any shame. We want to fall down and keep looking for someone to finally understand our pain. So we look for that in other people and sit there to complain and complain. It’s a constant cycle as if we have built a chain. We complain and they complain as if we are saving each other from going down the drain. But why are we so deaf dumb and blind that we don’t use our brain?

We ourselves are responsible for creating the biggest barrier between our happiness. How insane! We know we will all go in the grave one day but we fill it up with mud as if that’s not a real thing. That is when we lose our focus, what a shame! So that is when the race begins, our hearts full of stains. Trying to justify our actions by saying but please let me explain.

Our heads confused and our hearts full of pain. Not being thankful for each and every grain. Forgetting the blessing of seeing through our eyes and getting annoyed with when it rains. So busy capturing moments on a camera that we forget what was the real thing. Sitting together with real people yet busy on our phones playing games. Then when they die we remember them as our main.

So why do we complain for all that pain? When we caused it all by ourselves because we went off the lane. When we are the ones who couldn’t stop ourselves and restrain. When we are the ones who wanted the best of this world and keep running after this train. When we are clearly given the real focus of this life and what we are really here to attain. Why do we still complain? Losing our happiness and focus and causing ourselves to drain. Oh what a shame!  What a shame!

It’s been a long time.


IMG_20150618_180819

this way to home.

It’s been a long time when out of nowhere with these words I stopped.In the race of this life there are so many holes and traps over which you always have to hop. Sometimes you can run past them as fast as you can while other times you end up falling in those holes deeper than it was actually planned. It all really depends on what is in your heart. What your intentions are, where do you want to go and where did you start? If your intentions are to run home then there will be no stop for you no matter how many roads you find blocked. But if your intentions are to look around and make some stops here and there then know that you are bound to drop.

By dropping in the hole I don’t mean that’s your end. Remember it is about the intentions and where we actually began. Just by falling does not mean you will now stay in that trap. If your heart remembers the real goal of running home you will eventually begin to suffocate in that plastic wrap. But if your heart has moved far away, it will sit there lost and confused not knowing where to look and what to grab. It is all really a self process of how fast you can bring yourself back. Truly it is the intentions of our hearts that we really need to track.

Sometimes we run as fast as we can. But other times we fall not remembering our life purpose and where we began. Sometimes all it takes is a prayer or a thought to bring ourselves back. And other times we sit there with our confused minds, the ability to get up again we lack. It is all a struggle and everyday we get attacked. To check how far you have come is the only time you should look back!

Now you understand…


IMG_20150113_171752

It takes a selfish person to be careless, take advantage of others, do wrong and then walk away. But it takes courage to think of others before yourself and what is yours let it all go away. It takes strength to hold your words back, not fight back when you know you are the right one to say. It takes patience to show respect to the one who tried so hard to make you fall on your way. Now you sit here and understand when in all those prayers you asked for things and why there was a delay.

Loyalty


IMG_20150131_113420

the blue one doesn’t like me.

Who is more loyal, we can’t seem to decide. Who prayed for you? Those tears who cried? Why are you always judged by others on how much you tried. Why all of a sudden all the truth disappears and you remember that one time they lied? Why do you remember only the things they denied? And why don’t you remember when with you they were side by side?

We are constantly worried over if we are loyal to others that we forget ourselves. To others we do so much to prove ourselves that we keep filling that never ending shelf. Somewhere along that time is when we forget ourselves. The words we say, the standards we create, the respect we deserve; for all these things to remind ourselves we often end up needing others help.

Are we even loyal to ourselves? Do we even stick with the words we say? I understand the heart is constantly changing but how easily can we ourselves change? How easy it is to fool someone for own means and with their hearts we play? And here we sit trying to convince ourselves that we are loyal! we are loyal! just because we pray?

It is difficult enough to figure out our own intentions at times so how can we know with certainty the intentions of others and decide against the words they say? Who can we trust? not even ourselves we don’t know who is there to stay?

I am confused with loyalty and these standards everyone creates. No matter what you do they still find something to pin point and hate. I am done with being loyal to others and rather be loyal to myself and live day by day. I think I am just going to walk my own way.

Inside out.


Countless.

Countless.

There are some people in our lives that we refer to saying they know us inside out. We can go to them for anything, share with them any secret, and trust them without a doubt. And then a day comes we find out this one little thing that we could never imagine or think about. And we cry out loud calling ourselves stupid for trusting them and all of a sudden we have countless reasons of why we hate them and all those words we want to shout…

Silly us for first of all for even thinking that another creation can know us inside out. You are created and the other person is also created, that is a fact with no doubt. It is so easy to rely on other things and people in this world, something we actually look for in our lives through out. Truth be told this life will never be easy either with certain things or even without. And then there are people who we thought we knew  inside out. We felt happy knowing them thinking we know what’s in their hearts and sometimes because of that we felt proud. And then they do something so we sit here and wonder out loud. That how could they do this to us we would have never thought or imagined we want to question and shout…

Take a minute to get to know yourself before getting so interested in knowing the other creation inside out. Take a minute to think before you give someone the title that they know you inside out. Because really if you think about it that is not something for which you should feel proud. Because that one secret you never shared with anyone there is still Someone who knows the whole story behind it without a doubt. And He is the Only One that knows your heart and truly knows you inside out. He is the Only One that knows your wants and needs and knows what you think about. He knows you inside out. I can say this without a doubt.

Cold!


Sunset out my window two days ago.

Sunset out my window two days ago. It’s cold but it is also gold

They often ask you why so cold? Why do you always say what you feel why are you so blunt and bold? Why do you not pause and think, why don’t you put your words on hold? They don’t like hearing the truth but it is also true that truth is always the gold. So before you say something why should you put your words in a mold? Why should you stop right before saying what you feel and then let your tongue fold? We have all changed and been sold. Because this world is so cold.

They don’t know your struggles, they don’t know how you grew old. Stating the truth is sometimes considered uncontrolled. You can’t be too honest all the time, recently I was told. The irony is that we all lie yet we are all searching for gold. You must do things like everyone else does, if you do it differently you are considered bold. When you are straight up and direct about something, you are considered cold.

Why must you always live the way as by others you are told? Why can’t you be the gold in this world that is cold? Why can’t you walk your way by being just a little bit of cold? Why must you always by others be controlled? Why is this world trying to shape us in to a mold? Why are you so cold? Why is this world so cold?

Tonight I see the light


Walking towards the real light… being grateful as the events of life unfold and everything comes into sight.

I keep it silent

Image

Awhile back when I was in love with this world I wrote if you see the same moon as I see tonight how far are you from me anyway. Though tonight I realize that I just didn’t understand the case. I wanted the world so I was spending my nights all awake. Its like there was a need to win because all around me there was a race. When you find everyone running around you …you start searching for support. That’s when you fall in love with things and people who are riding the same boat. You start depending on them and they become your hope. As the attachment grows through it you see the light. You see it everywhere in the sun or moon and everything nice. Then all of a sudden something breaks… its a shock at first then it happens again and again. That attachment is breaking…

View original post 261 more words

A Strong Heart.


thoughts over green tea tonight.

Thoughts over green tea Last night.

A strong heart is not the one that has a lot but it is the one that knows how to give. It is not the one that is filled with love for so many materialistic things but rather for others that heart wants to live. It is not the one that holds grudges and wants to take revenge but the one that learns how to forgive. It is not the one that is blunt and rude but the one that understands others and is soft. It is not the one that gets so much attention from everyone but rather the one that enjoys its own company and makes sure in this world it is not lost. It is not the one that backs off but stands up for others at no cost. It is one that is true to others and not the one that filters its words and feelings and adds all that frost. Our hearts constantly get stronger when we go through life experiences and reflect on what is still in our life and what didn’t last. It is through patience, strength, motivation and reflection, our hearts continue to strive, crawl, walk and run fast. So be grateful today for all that happened in the past. And be thankful to the One that made your heart strong enough that It didn’t let you fall and all that you passed.

I forgot Him.


First thing in the morning

First thing in the morning

At night when I lay in bed, sleep took over me and I ignored all the blessings around me so I forgot Him. In the morning I was late and in rush forgetting who gave me another day to live so I forgot Him. At lunch I had so many plans ignoring that I have food in front of me that many don’t have so I forgot Him. I craved something and the next moment someone else brought it for me, I got over excited forgetting the One who knows my heart so I forgot Him. I was sick and spent those uncomfortable nights laying awake, then I got better and continued with my life forgetting who cured me so I forgot Him. I gave myself a cut by mistake and couldn’t use that hand for days, I took the bandage off and it was healed…I didn’t give a thought to who healed it so again I forgot Him. People treated me unfairly and I stayed quiet even when I was right… who gave me that patience I didn’t question so I forgot Him. I had so many things that needed to be done all in one day… at the end of the day I had it all done not giving a thought to how my day went so productive so I forgot Him. Others praised me for something, I smiled taking the credit and that moment I forgot Him. I achieved so much in my life I looked around me and still complained and I forgot Him. Some said I inspire them … I didn’t give a thought to who inspires me and that moment once again I forgot Him. I wanted something so badly but I didn’t ask for it, He still gave it to me and Yet I forgot Him. I had a roof over me. food to eat, bed to sleep and a family that loved me yet  I still desired other things so I forgot Him. I am ashamed that I forgot Him. I question myself why I forgot Him? He knows that I forgot Him. And He still gave me so much more than I asked for and didn’t leave a thing. Oh how big is our sin that we forgot Him?