Now you understand…


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It takes a selfish person to be careless, take advantage of others, do wrong and then walk away. But it takes courage to think of others before yourself and what is yours let it all go away. It takes strength to hold your words back, not fight back when you know you are the right one to say. It takes patience to show respect to the one who tried so hard to make you fall on your way. Now you sit here and understand when in all those prayers you asked for things and why there was a delay.

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If it comes back its yours?


Lunch at work and some "me" time at all time favorite spot.

Lunch at work and some “me” time at all time favorite spot.

Once again let’s talk about letting it go. If it comes back it is yours, of that how are you sure? Perhaps it came back for you as a test if you can once again let it go? Why are you looking back at those closed doors?

Within those closed doors was once where you felt secure. Till one day when it pushed up back and on your face it closed. And up till this day you think for your heart ache that is where you will find the cure.

You try to be patient till God finally will open the next door. At times you get impatient and about what’s ahead you seem unsure. Ignoring that God is with the patient ones (Surah Al-Baqarah) and to you again and again He assures.

So why can’t you let it go  what you once called yours? Why can’t you trust that something better is planned for you at the next door?

Something better for all that you endured. Something better where your heart will feel secure. Something better that you can finally call yours.

A sleepless night


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There are nights when you can’t fall asleep. Your heart wants to talk and your eyes want to weep. You don’t know where life is going, the road ahead looks very steep. You don’t know what to count on, you don’t know what is there to keep. You don’t know the traps ahead you don’t know when to jump and leap. So you lay there in the dark wondering, sighing and taking breathes that are deep. Hoping that in a while someone will come looking for you and take you back home as if you are a lost sheep…

What brings peace to your heart is that there is Someone else who knows all these thoughts tonight that are hidden within you very deep. What puts you sleep at the end is that there is Someone who will protect you from those puddles and will teach you when to jump and leap. The one who created your heart is who it wants to connect to and to Him your eyes want to complain to and weep. And here you are wondering what is wrong with life and why you can’t sleep…

Cold!


Sunset out my window two days ago.

Sunset out my window two days ago. It’s cold but it is also gold

They often ask you why so cold? Why do you always say what you feel why are you so blunt and bold? Why do you not pause and think, why don’t you put your words on hold? They don’t like hearing the truth but it is also true that truth is always the gold. So before you say something why should you put your words in a mold? Why should you stop right before saying what you feel and then let your tongue fold? We have all changed and been sold. Because this world is so cold.

They don’t know your struggles, they don’t know how you grew old. Stating the truth is sometimes considered uncontrolled. You can’t be too honest all the time, recently I was told. The irony is that we all lie yet we are all searching for gold. You must do things like everyone else does, if you do it differently you are considered bold. When you are straight up and direct about something, you are considered cold.

Why must you always live the way as by others you are told? Why can’t you be the gold in this world that is cold? Why can’t you walk your way by being just a little bit of cold? Why must you always by others be controlled? Why is this world trying to shape us in to a mold? Why are you so cold? Why is this world so cold?

Tonight I see the light


Walking towards the real light… being grateful as the events of life unfold and everything comes into sight.

I keep it silent

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Awhile back when I was in love with this world I wrote if you see the same moon as I see tonight how far are you from me anyway. Though tonight I realize that I just didn’t understand the case. I wanted the world so I was spending my nights all awake. Its like there was a need to win because all around me there was a race. When you find everyone running around you …you start searching for support. That’s when you fall in love with things and people who are riding the same boat. You start depending on them and they become your hope. As the attachment grows through it you see the light. You see it everywhere in the sun or moon and everything nice. Then all of a sudden something breaks… its a shock at first then it happens again and again. That attachment is breaking…

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Faded memories


my heart melts when the sun goes down | past weekend sunset

My heart melts when the sun goes down | past weekend sunset out my window

Once in a while you remember something that happened few years ago. It’s amazing how much can change in just a year and how much you grow. The people that are sometimes a huge part of your life fade away and sometimes you wonder where did they go? But once in a while you shake those thoughts off and just go on with your life routine and everyday flow. The moments that once made your heart melt seem so long ago. The things and people that were a huge part of your life once and then you decided to let go. The memories you remembered so well once, now don’t seem to matter as much as they did a year ago. The things that once made you smile the brightest, now don’t bring on your face that glow.

So where did those memories go? How come on your face they don’t bring the same glow? When you remember them now how come you shake those thoughts off and go on with your everyday work flow? Why did you decide to let go? How come they don’t matter as much as they did a year ago? The moments that made your heart melt why do they seem like so long ago? Where did those things and people go?

It’s because God decided to unveil it for you and He decided to show. What was once covered He decided to uncover it just for you to know. It happened not to hurt you but for you to grow. You learned and got stronger and moved on with your life routine and everyday flow. And as you did that, on you countless blessings He continued to bestow. You still smile but for different reasons now and your face still glows. Because you continued to walk instead of cry over one thing that is why those memories seem faded and so long ago. Almost as if they didn’t happen at all and you remember them as a tv show. So standing ovation to you for all that you decided to let go. It is amazing how much can change in just a year and how much you grow.

I forgot Him.


First thing in the morning

First thing in the morning

At night when I lay in bed, sleep took over me and I ignored all the blessings around me so I forgot Him. In the morning I was late and in rush forgetting who gave me another day to live so I forgot Him. At lunch I had so many plans ignoring that I have food in front of me that many don’t have so I forgot Him. I craved something and the next moment someone else brought it for me, I got over excited forgetting the One who knows my heart so I forgot Him. I was sick and spent those uncomfortable nights laying awake, then I got better and continued with my life forgetting who cured me so I forgot Him. I gave myself a cut by mistake and couldn’t use that hand for days, I took the bandage off and it was healed…I didn’t give a thought to who healed it so again I forgot Him. People treated me unfairly and I stayed quiet even when I was right… who gave me that patience I didn’t question so I forgot Him. I had so many things that needed to be done all in one day… at the end of the day I had it all done not giving a thought to how my day went so productive so I forgot Him. Others praised me for something, I smiled taking the credit and that moment I forgot Him. I achieved so much in my life I looked around me and still complained and I forgot Him. Some said I inspire them … I didn’t give a thought to who inspires me and that moment once again I forgot Him. I wanted something so badly but I didn’t ask for it, He still gave it to me and Yet I forgot Him. I had a roof over me. food to eat, bed to sleep and a family that loved me yet  I still desired other things so I forgot Him. I am ashamed that I forgot Him. I question myself why I forgot Him? He knows that I forgot Him. And He still gave me so much more than I asked for and didn’t leave a thing. Oh how big is our sin that we forgot Him?

Rejections


Getting inspired by these beauties on a rainy day.

Getting inspired by these yummy ice cream truffles on a rainy day.

It is hard for us to face rejection. Because around us we want no negativity and from others always want to see affection. There are many times we don’t even want something but when we get rejected by it we want to compete. Why didn’t I get selected, Why didn’t they pick me… that wanting of always being on top and others we want to beat. Not realizing that we got rejected by this because there is something better waiting for us down the street.

You can keep tasting chocolates till you eat the one that tastes best out of all. You will keep getting rejected until you have enough experience to still stand tall. You will keep getting rejected at interviews till you reach the one job that is meant to be yours. You will keep facing rejection till you reach that person you are actually  made for. You will keep asking for help in something and getting rejected till you knock on that one door. And you will keep failing that test over and over again till you get enough practice to get the highest score.

It is hard for us to face rejection because we always want to win. It doesn’t matter if we don’t even want that thing. We still busy ourselves with competing, loosing our sleep over it and making our heads spin. We get rejected only because there is something better for us at end. Think back to your life today and all those rejections through which you have been. Would you have all that you have today, or all that you did achieve if you stopped at that thing? We always think we know what is best for us but it is actually God who knows it all (Surah al-baqarah) and that is how it has always been. But sadly we forget it every time by competing, because this world we are trying to win.

Forget you too!


Forget them in the same way you forget these leaves that fall off every year

Forget them in the same way you forget these leaves that fall off every year

Forget the people who forgot you.  You think about it again and again all day through. Making up scenarios in your head with all these conversations that are new. Wanting to go back to what passed by you. While they walk away with their lives forgetting you.

The respect that you have… you hold it in your hands. You can throw it on the ground in someone’s feet or grip it hard and always stand. Respect yourself enough to let it not pass through between your fingers as sand. It is not a matter of having pride but it is respecting who you are. It is not about seeing yourself higher than others but believing in who you are. When someone walks out of your life and in your heart you feel that empty space. That is when the test comes of if you let yourself fall on the ground or do you still walk with that beautiful grace?

There is a reason why those people didn’t come forward with you. There is a matter in the future that you can’t see through. There are situations from which God is saving you. And yet you sit here remembering and  getting lost in thoughts and that is nothing new. If they show by their words and actions that they forgot you. Don’t get panicked and worried and try to come back into their view. That is where you need to block, delete and put your focus back towards only ‘you’.

And tell them that forget you too!!

One cupcake at a time


Lunch at work, run to 4 blocks away to get cupcakes for my family; a treat because it is friday.

Today’s inspiration be lunch at work, running 4 blocks away to get cupcakes for my family; a treat because it is Friday.

Today I was out for lunch not to eat but I guess you can call it a run. I went few blocks away just to put a smile on the faces of my loved ones. It is the little things you do sometimes with good intentions for Allah’s sake. That sometimes bringing benefits for you in ways you never imagined isn’t that great. She was putting my order in the box as I saw. I was telling her I want this one and this one and it left me in awe. What if our lives was the same? What if we chose ourselves what we wanted in life then would we be the ones to blame? We should be glad and thankful that One God is looking above us and already knows what is written under our name. I think if we were to pick what we wanted and we would feel continuous shame.

It is not like we don’t get what we want because whatever you ask of Him He gives it all (Surah Ibraheem). Yet we don’t give thanks and walk around full of pride and tall. Being Humble is realizing that it is not you but God who controls it all. It is having everything in your hand and still thinking of yourself small. If you love those cupcakes and keep eating different flavours but one cupcake at a time. It is like this world where there are those never ending stairs you have to climb. After you eat them all it leaves you all hungry again. You keep wanting more and more but there is nothing that you will gain. Then you gain some weight now let me ask you who is the one to blame? Just like when these worldly things break your heart isn’t that a shame.

I love cake and I admit I wanted to try all flavours of them and wanted to buy it all.  Then I realized the need over my wants and decided to get only six from the smalls. I brought it home the intention was good so on their faces I did see a smile. Because we each took one and it was one cupcake at a time.