Life of Approvals


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There comes a time in a life where you feel like you are facing a wall. You are stuck, you can’t get over it, you feel so small. Sometimes everything happens at once and sometimes nothing happens at all. You can’t make a decision so you sit there crying and your eyes you bawl. Forgetting that this is your life and you must stand tall.

All that only happens only when you look towards others to make your decisions for you. Instead of hearing your own heart and listening to what it wants you to do. Recently someone told me get rid of your emotions will you? And I sit there and question with a dead heart how are you supposed to survive this life through? How do you walk around pretending you are OK and inside you don’t feel gray and blue? It is very easy for some while it becomes an everyday battle for some in their own shoes. To get up and pretend as their lives pass through. Their hearts already dead just waiting for them to be dead too. And this is a life story of so many if only you knew.

Can I do this? Can I do that? Asking others for approvals for things you actually want to do. Goals you want to achieve, visions you want to make true. And then someone answers no and you sit there think ‘maybe they are right and I am not capable for this to do.’ You keep hearing disapprovals from others that you end up living the average life as others do. Forgetting that the One who created you never limited your goals and visions and that He is the One who inspires you to do. He controls your Hearts and is the One who puts those feelings in your hearts for you.

And here you are being silly asking for approval from His creation as if they control you. Not standing up for yourself and what you want to do. Living to please others, scared they might not like you. Giving others power over yourself when God is the One holding all power and He is the One who created you. Letting your heart die and then feeling sorry for yourself too. When will you stand up for yourself and you decisions. Please tell me that will you? Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Will it be too late? Or will you find the courage to do it soon?

It’s been a long time.


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this way to home.

It’s been a long time when out of nowhere with these words I stopped.In the race of this life there are so many holes and traps over which you always have to hop. Sometimes you can run past them as fast as you can while other times you end up falling in those holes deeper than it was actually planned. It all really depends on what is in your heart. What your intentions are, where do you want to go and where did you start? If your intentions are to run home then there will be no stop for you no matter how many roads you find blocked. But if your intentions are to look around and make some stops here and there then know that you are bound to drop.

By dropping in the hole I don’t mean that’s your end. Remember it is about the intentions and where we actually began. Just by falling does not mean you will now stay in that trap. If your heart remembers the real goal of running home you will eventually begin to suffocate in that plastic wrap. But if your heart has moved far away, it will sit there lost and confused not knowing where to look and what to grab. It is all really a self process of how fast you can bring yourself back. Truly it is the intentions of our hearts that we really need to track.

Sometimes we run as fast as we can. But other times we fall not remembering our life purpose and where we began. Sometimes all it takes is a prayer or a thought to bring ourselves back. And other times we sit there with our confused minds, the ability to get up again we lack. It is all a struggle and everyday we get attacked. To check how far you have come is the only time you should look back!

A Strong Heart.


thoughts over green tea tonight.

Thoughts over green tea Last night.

A strong heart is not the one that has a lot but it is the one that knows how to give. It is not the one that is filled with love for so many materialistic things but rather for others that heart wants to live. It is not the one that holds grudges and wants to take revenge but the one that learns how to forgive. It is not the one that is blunt and rude but the one that understands others and is soft. It is not the one that gets so much attention from everyone but rather the one that enjoys its own company and makes sure in this world it is not lost. It is not the one that backs off but stands up for others at no cost. It is one that is true to others and not the one that filters its words and feelings and adds all that frost. Our hearts constantly get stronger when we go through life experiences and reflect on what is still in our life and what didn’t last. It is through patience, strength, motivation and reflection, our hearts continue to strive, crawl, walk and run fast. So be grateful today for all that happened in the past. And be thankful to the One that made your heart strong enough that It didn’t let you fall and all that you passed.

The difference between us.


How I spent my weekend and where my thoughts led me...

How I spent my weekend and where my thoughts led me to think about the differences…

If someone came down today to give you a $5 bill. Would you feel the same happiness as a beggar sitting on the street and the same thrill? If like some people we had only one water bottle to drink, would we still waste it and not care about those spills. If we had almost nothing to eat… would we care about others first or our stomachs we would still want to fill?

The thought is that it is not easy to put your hands out in front of someone. The people who do it, there are probably many times they want to get up from that spot and run. They ask each person that passes by and we all sometimes ignore because we have ‘better’ things that need to be done.  We often have those thoughts that why can’t they get up and go do something, it is not like they can’t do none? They loose their self respect doing this and their shoulders probably weigh a ton.  And we pass by telling ourselves, turn your face to the other side hun.

Poor people are often the most generous, they say. Perhaps if they get a lot of wealth, they might change today. They might even start having the same thoughts that we have sometimes and think of them in the same way. So I guess it is the wealth in the end that gets the blame? We change because we have some dollars in our hands, such a shame. Truly in a second we can fly and fall down on the ground, that is this world’s game. The differences we create between ourselves are just the starting flames. What is our aim? Do we want to be well-known, have all that money and the fame? Or are we the humble and generous ones, is that how people remember us and know our name?

Seasons of our hearts


I look forward to this season to see these colours at my beautiful window | Truly home is where the heart is.

I look forward to this season to see these beautiful colours at my window | Truly home is where the heart is.

       Sometimes our heart sees what we cannot see with our eyes. How beautiful is the heart that desires something but is shy. Sometimes it attaches itself with things and people and makes it so hard for us to say goodbye.At times it lets us smile from outside but from the inside it silently cries. Sometimes it feels guilty for days because we told that one lie. And sometimes it feels such strong feelings that no matter how hard we push the thoughts away we cannot deny.

    Sometimes it builds up so much strength and pushes us again and again to once again try. And sometimes it fills itself with so much patience to stop us and let people and things walk by. Often it gets so excited and makes us believe that we can fly. It changes so many seasons but often it has no tears left to cry. Sometimes we have no feelings because it gets so hard just like the soil that dries. Sometimes it wants to give so much to others and feels big just like the sky. Often it gives us reminders that makes us give thoughts to a matter and question why? Often it gives up without even telling us to retry. And often it lets us sleep with one feeling and in the morning new feelings it passes by.

   But when we don’t listen to what it says that is when we silently let it die. When we don’t take the time to feel what others feels that is when we don’t let it cry. Our hearts are alive we forget that at times and keep letting our lives pass by. Then a day comes in our lives when we feel so hurt and feel this pain that we don’t know on who to rely. If only we took care of our heart just like it takes care of us… sigh. It doesn’t ask much from us but when we keep doing wrong it slowly dies. It silently guides us from within … truly there is no limit to how beautiful is the heart that is shy.

Rejections


Getting inspired by these beauties on a rainy day.

Getting inspired by these yummy ice cream truffles on a rainy day.

It is hard for us to face rejection. Because around us we want no negativity and from others always want to see affection. There are many times we don’t even want something but when we get rejected by it we want to compete. Why didn’t I get selected, Why didn’t they pick me… that wanting of always being on top and others we want to beat. Not realizing that we got rejected by this because there is something better waiting for us down the street.

You can keep tasting chocolates till you eat the one that tastes best out of all. You will keep getting rejected until you have enough experience to still stand tall. You will keep getting rejected at interviews till you reach the one job that is meant to be yours. You will keep facing rejection till you reach that person you are actually  made for. You will keep asking for help in something and getting rejected till you knock on that one door. And you will keep failing that test over and over again till you get enough practice to get the highest score.

It is hard for us to face rejection because we always want to win. It doesn’t matter if we don’t even want that thing. We still busy ourselves with competing, loosing our sleep over it and making our heads spin. We get rejected only because there is something better for us at end. Think back to your life today and all those rejections through which you have been. Would you have all that you have today, or all that you did achieve if you stopped at that thing? We always think we know what is best for us but it is actually God who knows it all (Surah al-baqarah) and that is how it has always been. But sadly we forget it every time by competing, because this world we are trying to win.

Five before five


I love productive days. Today was one of them.

I love productive days. Today was one of them.

Don’t you just love productive days where you feel like you got so much done. The days where you feel you are so organized and are on a constant run.  Recently I woke up one morning  panicking at the fact how fast time is flying. Then I felt better by reflecting over how much I achieved in the past 6 months and that motivated me to keep trying. Life is a continuous struggle but what will matter in the end is how hard we strive. And we can’t try our best if we don’t care of our five before five (hadith).

We must take care of  our youth before our old age. And we can truly take care of that when we understand that everyday in our lives is a new page. Your life is where you give your best performance and you must always think of it as your personal stage. Things that don’t benefit us is those many times in our lives we engage. But what matters is how fast we come back to realizing and freeing ourselves from that cage.

Next is taking care of our health before we fall sick. Take it as an example that you are walking without a burden and all of a sudden on your shoulders there is a heavy brick. With that brick now you can’t walk as fast and there are many things that go on a delay which before you could have done quick.

Your wealth before you go broke. It is better to be wise and not waste all that money as if life is a joke. Because once you are done with your wealth there is really nobody who will help you sincerely and that is usually when God many people invoke.

Your free time before your days get all booked up. And you can’t find the time to even sit with your family just for one tea cup. And then you remember those days you were all free and didn’t do much. And now you don’t have time for anything just your luck.

Lastly we must take care of our life before our death. Because it is all over and done when we take our last breath. Leaving behind our health, time, our age and our wealth. There is nothing much that can be done then there is no one then who we can ask for help.

Forget you too!


Forget them in the same way you forget these leaves that fall off every year

Forget them in the same way you forget these leaves that fall off every year

Forget the people who forgot you.  You think about it again and again all day through. Making up scenarios in your head with all these conversations that are new. Wanting to go back to what passed by you. While they walk away with their lives forgetting you.

The respect that you have… you hold it in your hands. You can throw it on the ground in someone’s feet or grip it hard and always stand. Respect yourself enough to let it not pass through between your fingers as sand. It is not a matter of having pride but it is respecting who you are. It is not about seeing yourself higher than others but believing in who you are. When someone walks out of your life and in your heart you feel that empty space. That is when the test comes of if you let yourself fall on the ground or do you still walk with that beautiful grace?

There is a reason why those people didn’t come forward with you. There is a matter in the future that you can’t see through. There are situations from which God is saving you. And yet you sit here remembering and  getting lost in thoughts and that is nothing new. If they show by their words and actions that they forgot you. Don’t get panicked and worried and try to come back into their view. That is where you need to block, delete and put your focus back towards only ‘you’.

And tell them that forget you too!!

The good in the morning, Sunshine.


Today's inspiration be my pillowcases and a beautiful morning outside.

Today’s inspiration be my pillowcases and a beautiful morning outside

I always loved my sleep and the idea of waking up late. This society want us being professional so why make all these university classes timings at night so late? Making us stay up all night and in the mornings we can’t wake. Then University ended and I started working, great! Where I have to be at work no later than eight. Sun is rising and I have to stand at the bus stop to wait. I am not complaining but at least let me eat and finish off what is on my plate. It took a while to get into that routine and I started to think straight. The beauty in the morning is so magical such a blessing let me just state.

I am in love with early mornings now that feeling so blessed. Where you see so many things happening only at that time who could have guessed. The golden morning, the birds chirping, the morning smiles from strangers, Oh I am definitely impressed! Before I was a sunset fan but now to witness the sunrises I am so obsessed!  These morning are what makes you keep going and gives you so much hope. There are there to teach you that after night the sun rises don’t let go of that rope. We all have our own problems and there are some with we can’t cope. Yet this morning comes everyday to teach us how to walk without slipping on that slope.

The sun rises and at that time the colours of this world are the most bright. If you don’t believe me go out early morning and on everything see that shining light. Everything will make you smile that comes in your sight. There is a lot more of the good in the morning sunshine. While you walk out there reflect on the One who created all this design. Who created the birds, the trees and made the beautiful sun shine. Get your thoughts together there is so much you need to achieve and your ideas you need to combine. And if someone asks you how you are feeling, give them your biggest smile, don’t just say fine! Go brighten up someone’s day with that beautiful smiles of yours that shines.

Count them if you can


countless blessings

countless blessings. This sprinkler in my front lawn. If I keep my focus at one place there are many I can count while I miss all the other ones just like the blessings in our lives.

It is one of those day when you want to be in bed. You make plans but it is home where you want to be instead. There is this feeling in your heart perhaps an empty space. You can’t figure it out your thoughts you can’t put into place. You think of the past and some memories you unwrap. Then you come back to reality and decide it is better to just take a nap.  You wake up from the nap and you are sitting alone. You look at the view outside your window and reflect on the beauty that is shown. You think you will feel better so you decide to read. Still you can’t figure this feeling out and what exactly do you need.

All of a sudden you hear the call of prayer. As usual it makes the hair on your skin stand and out your window you stare. It is calling you to success. And you think really here I was sitting depressed? But that is not the feeling you feel now. You reflect on a total different thing and think I just heard all this how? You repeat the prayer and stare in shock. Oh my God I can repeat this and these words I can talk. Now you are sitting here with tears filing up your eyes. And you still look at the beauty outside and realize.

There is someone out there who can’t hear what you just heard. There is someone out there who unlike you can’t say the same words. There is someone out there who can’t see the beauty outside your window and stare at those flying birds.  And here you were sitting with a vision that is blurred? Be thankful because now that empty space is filled and the thoughts you had a while ago have been changed and transferred!