Life of Approvals


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There comes a time in a life where you feel like you are facing a wall. You are stuck, you can’t get over it, you feel so small. Sometimes everything happens at once and sometimes nothing happens at all. You can’t make a decision so you sit there crying and your eyes you bawl. Forgetting that this is your life and you must stand tall.

All that only happens only when you look towards others to make your decisions for you. Instead of hearing your own heart and listening to what it wants you to do. Recently someone told me get rid of your emotions will you? And I sit there and question with a dead heart how are you supposed to survive this life through? How do you walk around pretending you are OK and inside you don’t feel gray and blue? It is very easy for some while it becomes an everyday battle for some in their own shoes. To get up and pretend as their lives pass through. Their hearts already dead just waiting for them to be dead too. And this is a life story of so many if only you knew.

Can I do this? Can I do that? Asking others for approvals for things you actually want to do. Goals you want to achieve, visions you want to make true. And then someone answers no and you sit there think ‘maybe they are right and I am not capable for this to do.’ You keep hearing disapprovals from others that you end up living the average life as others do. Forgetting that the One who created you never limited your goals and visions and that He is the One who inspires you to do. He controls your Hearts and is the One who puts those feelings in your hearts for you.

And here you are being silly asking for approval from His creation as if they control you. Not standing up for yourself and what you want to do. Living to please others, scared they might not like you. Giving others power over yourself when God is the One holding all power and He is the One who created you. Letting your heart die and then feeling sorry for yourself too. When will you stand up for yourself and you decisions. Please tell me that will you? Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Will it be too late? Or will you find the courage to do it soon?

It’s been a long time.


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this way to home.

It’s been a long time when out of nowhere with these words I stopped.In the race of this life there are so many holes and traps over which you always have to hop. Sometimes you can run past them as fast as you can while other times you end up falling in those holes deeper than it was actually planned. It all really depends on what is in your heart. What your intentions are, where do you want to go and where did you start? If your intentions are to run home then there will be no stop for you no matter how many roads you find blocked. But if your intentions are to look around and make some stops here and there then know that you are bound to drop.

By dropping in the hole I don’t mean that’s your end. Remember it is about the intentions and where we actually began. Just by falling does not mean you will now stay in that trap. If your heart remembers the real goal of running home you will eventually begin to suffocate in that plastic wrap. But if your heart has moved far away, it will sit there lost and confused not knowing where to look and what to grab. It is all really a self process of how fast you can bring yourself back. Truly it is the intentions of our hearts that we really need to track.

Sometimes we run as fast as we can. But other times we fall not remembering our life purpose and where we began. Sometimes all it takes is a prayer or a thought to bring ourselves back. And other times we sit there with our confused minds, the ability to get up again we lack. It is all a struggle and everyday we get attacked. To check how far you have come is the only time you should look back!

Piece of your mind.


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Splash of colours for sunset today had me thinking.

It is that time where you must give them a piece of your mind. Just because you were quiet does not mean you were blind. They kept taking advantage because you have always been so kind. But you must sit with yourself and look at how Self Respect is defined. How you have always been thrown of by them, to yourself you must remind. It is finally time to respect your morals and values and let all those words out that you have combined. In yourself that inner strength, that lost soul you must find. And finally give them a piece of your mind.

Don’t remind an arrogant how to them you have always been so kind. All that you have done, to a selfish person don’t remind.  Every time you were there for them, don’t look at the past that you have left behind. Just do this to get your self respect back and hit them with reality that all this time you were not blind. You deserve so much better than what has been left behind.

But in order to move on to the next chapter, you must close this one by giving them a piece of your mind.

A sleepless night


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There are nights when you can’t fall asleep. Your heart wants to talk and your eyes want to weep. You don’t know where life is going, the road ahead looks very steep. You don’t know what to count on, you don’t know what is there to keep. You don’t know the traps ahead you don’t know when to jump and leap. So you lay there in the dark wondering, sighing and taking breathes that are deep. Hoping that in a while someone will come looking for you and take you back home as if you are a lost sheep…

What brings peace to your heart is that there is Someone else who knows all these thoughts tonight that are hidden within you very deep. What puts you sleep at the end is that there is Someone who will protect you from those puddles and will teach you when to jump and leap. The one who created your heart is who it wants to connect to and to Him your eyes want to complain to and weep. And here you are wondering what is wrong with life and why you can’t sleep…

Worldly trend.


IMG_20141213_004915Countless lessons you keep learning as His blessings He sends. To be wise is one thing but there was a time on this world you continued to spend. You were searching for happiness as if it is a worldly trend. Till you realized that it is all a game to pretend. Till you learned that we are all the same and on each other we can’t really depend. Till you felt the happiness from giving just for God’s sake and the times a helping hand you lend. Till you started having conversations with people you didn’t know as if for many years you have been friends…

A Strong Heart.


thoughts over green tea tonight.

Thoughts over green tea Last night.

A strong heart is not the one that has a lot but it is the one that knows how to give. It is not the one that is filled with love for so many materialistic things but rather for others that heart wants to live. It is not the one that holds grudges and wants to take revenge but the one that learns how to forgive. It is not the one that is blunt and rude but the one that understands others and is soft. It is not the one that gets so much attention from everyone but rather the one that enjoys its own company and makes sure in this world it is not lost. It is not the one that backs off but stands up for others at no cost. It is one that is true to others and not the one that filters its words and feelings and adds all that frost. Our hearts constantly get stronger when we go through life experiences and reflect on what is still in our life and what didn’t last. It is through patience, strength, motivation and reflection, our hearts continue to strive, crawl, walk and run fast. So be grateful today for all that happened in the past. And be thankful to the One that made your heart strong enough that It didn’t let you fall and all that you passed.

The difference between us.


How I spent my weekend and where my thoughts led me...

How I spent my weekend and where my thoughts led me to think about the differences…

If someone came down today to give you a $5 bill. Would you feel the same happiness as a beggar sitting on the street and the same thrill? If like some people we had only one water bottle to drink, would we still waste it and not care about those spills. If we had almost nothing to eat… would we care about others first or our stomachs we would still want to fill?

The thought is that it is not easy to put your hands out in front of someone. The people who do it, there are probably many times they want to get up from that spot and run. They ask each person that passes by and we all sometimes ignore because we have ‘better’ things that need to be done.  We often have those thoughts that why can’t they get up and go do something, it is not like they can’t do none? They loose their self respect doing this and their shoulders probably weigh a ton.  And we pass by telling ourselves, turn your face to the other side hun.

Poor people are often the most generous, they say. Perhaps if they get a lot of wealth, they might change today. They might even start having the same thoughts that we have sometimes and think of them in the same way. So I guess it is the wealth in the end that gets the blame? We change because we have some dollars in our hands, such a shame. Truly in a second we can fly and fall down on the ground, that is this world’s game. The differences we create between ourselves are just the starting flames. What is our aim? Do we want to be well-known, have all that money and the fame? Or are we the humble and generous ones, is that how people remember us and know our name?

Seasons of our hearts


I look forward to this season to see these colours at my beautiful window | Truly home is where the heart is.

I look forward to this season to see these beautiful colours at my window | Truly home is where the heart is.

       Sometimes our heart sees what we cannot see with our eyes. How beautiful is the heart that desires something but is shy. Sometimes it attaches itself with things and people and makes it so hard for us to say goodbye.At times it lets us smile from outside but from the inside it silently cries. Sometimes it feels guilty for days because we told that one lie. And sometimes it feels such strong feelings that no matter how hard we push the thoughts away we cannot deny.

    Sometimes it builds up so much strength and pushes us again and again to once again try. And sometimes it fills itself with so much patience to stop us and let people and things walk by. Often it gets so excited and makes us believe that we can fly. It changes so many seasons but often it has no tears left to cry. Sometimes we have no feelings because it gets so hard just like the soil that dries. Sometimes it wants to give so much to others and feels big just like the sky. Often it gives us reminders that makes us give thoughts to a matter and question why? Often it gives up without even telling us to retry. And often it lets us sleep with one feeling and in the morning new feelings it passes by.

   But when we don’t listen to what it says that is when we silently let it die. When we don’t take the time to feel what others feels that is when we don’t let it cry. Our hearts are alive we forget that at times and keep letting our lives pass by. Then a day comes in our lives when we feel so hurt and feel this pain that we don’t know on who to rely. If only we took care of our heart just like it takes care of us… sigh. It doesn’t ask much from us but when we keep doing wrong it slowly dies. It silently guides us from within … truly there is no limit to how beautiful is the heart that is shy.

Rejections


Getting inspired by these beauties on a rainy day.

Getting inspired by these yummy ice cream truffles on a rainy day.

It is hard for us to face rejection. Because around us we want no negativity and from others always want to see affection. There are many times we don’t even want something but when we get rejected by it we want to compete. Why didn’t I get selected, Why didn’t they pick me… that wanting of always being on top and others we want to beat. Not realizing that we got rejected by this because there is something better waiting for us down the street.

You can keep tasting chocolates till you eat the one that tastes best out of all. You will keep getting rejected until you have enough experience to still stand tall. You will keep getting rejected at interviews till you reach the one job that is meant to be yours. You will keep facing rejection till you reach that person you are actually  made for. You will keep asking for help in something and getting rejected till you knock on that one door. And you will keep failing that test over and over again till you get enough practice to get the highest score.

It is hard for us to face rejection because we always want to win. It doesn’t matter if we don’t even want that thing. We still busy ourselves with competing, loosing our sleep over it and making our heads spin. We get rejected only because there is something better for us at end. Think back to your life today and all those rejections through which you have been. Would you have all that you have today, or all that you did achieve if you stopped at that thing? We always think we know what is best for us but it is actually God who knows it all (Surah al-baqarah) and that is how it has always been. But sadly we forget it every time by competing, because this world we are trying to win.

Breaking off attachments


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Everything and everyone in our lives will one day leave us at a point. We will feel empty when they leave thinking back to when we thought us, they would never disappoint. A time comes in our lives that slowly all the attachments break. The family members pass away, the daughters get married, and the sons have their own families you can say. Our friends make new friends and families they need to look after everyday. And here we are sitting with empty hearts and a heart ache.

We think we finally found the people who understand our hearts but there is also a time comes when we realize and say to ourselves what a mistake. Why did we share that secret or tell them that story, we should have just stayed quiet for God’s sake. We feel disappointed when the attachments break. But we don’t realize that God is still here, the One who created us and that is where on our thoughts we need to put a break. It is so easy to be dependent on someone if they keep doing things for you and so easily  from them everything we want to take. But some also have the hearts to walk away so easily forgetting the ones who for them stayed awake.

Everything we get attached to in this world will some day walk away. Every thing we depend on in this world will some day break. You have to keep breaking your heart by breaking off these worldly attachments day by day. It is not to hurt you or give you a heart ache. But rather to build you stronger and protect you from all the fake. It is to make you be independent and not lay there in your bed worrying over what others think of you and spending all your nights awake. It is to help you to not expect anything from anyone besides God and doing things only for His sake!