Life of Approvals


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There comes a time in a life where you feel like you are facing a wall. You are stuck, you can’t get over it, you feel so small. Sometimes everything happens at once and sometimes nothing happens at all. You can’t make a decision so you sit there crying and your eyes you bawl. Forgetting that this is your life and you must stand tall.

All that only happens only when you look towards others to make your decisions for you. Instead of hearing your own heart and listening to what it wants you to do. Recently someone told me get rid of your emotions will you? And I sit there and question with a dead heart how are you supposed to survive this life through? How do you walk around pretending you are OK and inside you don’t feel gray and blue? It is very easy for some while it becomes an everyday battle for some in their own shoes. To get up and pretend as their lives pass through. Their hearts already dead just waiting for them to be dead too. And this is a life story of so many if only you knew.

Can I do this? Can I do that? Asking others for approvals for things you actually want to do. Goals you want to achieve, visions you want to make true. And then someone answers no and you sit there think ‘maybe they are right and I am not capable for this to do.’ You keep hearing disapprovals from others that you end up living the average life as others do. Forgetting that the One who created you never limited your goals and visions and that He is the One who inspires you to do. He controls your Hearts and is the One who puts those feelings in your hearts for you.

And here you are being silly asking for approval from His creation as if they control you. Not standing up for yourself and what you want to do. Living to please others, scared they might not like you. Giving others power over yourself when God is the One holding all power and He is the One who created you. Letting your heart die and then feeling sorry for yourself too. When will you stand up for yourself and you decisions. Please tell me that will you? Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Will it be too late? Or will you find the courage to do it soon?

It’s been a long time.


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this way to home.

It’s been a long time when out of nowhere with these words I stopped.In the race of this life there are so many holes and traps over which you always have to hop. Sometimes you can run past them as fast as you can while other times you end up falling in those holes deeper than it was actually planned. It all really depends on what is in your heart. What your intentions are, where do you want to go and where did you start? If your intentions are to run home then there will be no stop for you no matter how many roads you find blocked. But if your intentions are to look around and make some stops here and there then know that you are bound to drop.

By dropping in the hole I don’t mean that’s your end. Remember it is about the intentions and where we actually began. Just by falling does not mean you will now stay in that trap. If your heart remembers the real goal of running home you will eventually begin to suffocate in that plastic wrap. But if your heart has moved far away, it will sit there lost and confused not knowing where to look and what to grab. It is all really a self process of how fast you can bring yourself back. Truly it is the intentions of our hearts that we really need to track.

Sometimes we run as fast as we can. But other times we fall not remembering our life purpose and where we began. Sometimes all it takes is a prayer or a thought to bring ourselves back. And other times we sit there with our confused minds, the ability to get up again we lack. It is all a struggle and everyday we get attacked. To check how far you have come is the only time you should look back!

Piece of your mind.


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Splash of colours for sunset today had me thinking.

It is that time where you must give them a piece of your mind. Just because you were quiet does not mean you were blind. They kept taking advantage because you have always been so kind. But you must sit with yourself and look at how Self Respect is defined. How you have always been thrown of by them, to yourself you must remind. It is finally time to respect your morals and values and let all those words out that you have combined. In yourself that inner strength, that lost soul you must find. And finally give them a piece of your mind.

Don’t remind an arrogant how to them you have always been so kind. All that you have done, to a selfish person don’t remind.  Every time you were there for them, don’t look at the past that you have left behind. Just do this to get your self respect back and hit them with reality that all this time you were not blind. You deserve so much better than what has been left behind.

But in order to move on to the next chapter, you must close this one by giving them a piece of your mind.

If it comes back its yours?


Lunch at work and some "me" time at all time favorite spot.

Lunch at work and some “me” time at all time favorite spot.

Once again let’s talk about letting it go. If it comes back it is yours, of that how are you sure? Perhaps it came back for you as a test if you can once again let it go? Why are you looking back at those closed doors?

Within those closed doors was once where you felt secure. Till one day when it pushed up back and on your face it closed. And up till this day you think for your heart ache that is where you will find the cure.

You try to be patient till God finally will open the next door. At times you get impatient and about what’s ahead you seem unsure. Ignoring that God is with the patient ones (Surah Al-Baqarah) and to you again and again He assures.

So why can’t you let it go  what you once called yours? Why can’t you trust that something better is planned for you at the next door?

Something better for all that you endured. Something better where your heart will feel secure. Something better that you can finally call yours.

3 Types Of People You Don’t Need In Your Life


Rather have an enemy who towards you will not hide their frowns.. Instead of a friend who secretly wants to always put you down…

Think & Be Positive

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We all have certain individuals in our lives who don’t benefit us but oddly enough we keep them around. Days, months and years go by and these individuals take everything out of us. We eventually become mentally exhausted and drained with them around all the time. Sometimes we know who they are and sometimes we don’t know who they are.

In this article, insha’Allah (if Allah wills), I will give you 3 types of people that you don’t need in your life. Now, you may think, I don’t want to be harsh, I don’t want them to feel bad, I don’t want to get rid of them and many things will pop into your head but seriously, just read

1. The Negative Ones

The negative ones are the type no matter what happens in their life, they will constantly see negativity in it. They could be given a million dollars…

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The pain you feel.


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one of the favorite from fall season I took.

The pain you feel in your heart from not getting what you wanted to happen someday it will outgrow. It will take a month or two or even years give it time it will be slow. There will be times where you will have no strength to face this world and you will feel low. There will be times you will be lost in your thoughts trying to figure out where you went wrong though. There will also be times you will be annoyed and you will ignore all the other blessings on you that has been bestowed. But it’s okay let it all out so you can let it go. Because to see the beauty of your current situations the past thoughts and plans you need to get rid of and throw. Eventually you will get used to it all and start liking your routine but sometimes you will think of everything that you wanted to happen though.  Those thoughts come back to you not to annoy but to make you realize and show. That you can also be happy in a place that you never wanted to go. Always remember He knows what you do not know (Surah al-baqarah). And a day will come sooner or later when God will reveal it to you and show.

 

The day you walk alone.


Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you.

Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you. Downtown Toronto

It’s been a while since I wrote. I guess you can say I was in the middle of the sea and got lost with my boat. There are times in our lives where we ask ourselves towards which way do we float? There is Someone there Who is pulling us towards this one way as if by a remote. Truth be told it is a long way. We walk and run, at times we think of it all as amusement and play (Surah Al-Hadid). Then we fall down while playing  shedding those tears and remember to once again pray. Who is guiding our way? Who is not letting us get lost and protecting us from being of those who from their path go astray?

One night in November you walk home alone. It is dark, it is quite and only through street lights the path is shown. The struggle you feel this night you never felt before. You cry and say out loud Oh God please let me sit right here on this road. Is it possible to not have the strength to walk not even to your house door? With a broken heart and no strength You keep going on and the pain you ignore.

You want to fall down or sit but something keeps pushing you from the back. Something keeps telling you that if you fall down on the road, you will loose this so you cannot slack. From all around you feel as if you are being attacked. Then all of a sudden as if you see light passing through a crack. It is a light from your home so you run towards it as fast as you can. And finally you reach home and you let it all out. You run to your room and let those tears finally fall down to the ground. There is no more pain or struggle, but rather tears of happiness and in your thoughts you drown…

There is finally an understanding of the concept that this is truly how your life goes. No matter what street you walk through at the end you must come home.  Since you know where your house is and to you the path is shown. Now you do a bit of exploring, get lost in few streets but as long as you get back to the street that is your own. We get lost many times in our lives but what matters is how many times we bring ourselves back towards the path that is known. No matter what we do in our lives we must return back to the One who owns the Throne ( Surah Al-Baqarah). Now it is up to us if we want to wander the streets being lost or do we want to return back home?

As long as we want to return to our home God won’t let us fall. At times we will walk and run and in hard times He will even help us crawl. As long as we keep the intention of returning back home He will even help us break walls. As long as we keep doing good on our way He won’t give up and will continue to call. This is your walk alone so at all times you must stand tall. People will walk with you for a while but then turn into the streets where their houses are. But at the end we all must get to our homes it is where we belong. It is all a matter of telling ourselves that you can do it because you are strong.

Tonight I see the light


Walking towards the real light… being grateful as the events of life unfold and everything comes into sight.

I keep it silent

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Awhile back when I was in love with this world I wrote if you see the same moon as I see tonight how far are you from me anyway. Though tonight I realize that I just didn’t understand the case. I wanted the world so I was spending my nights all awake. Its like there was a need to win because all around me there was a race. When you find everyone running around you …you start searching for support. That’s when you fall in love with things and people who are riding the same boat. You start depending on them and they become your hope. As the attachment grows through it you see the light. You see it everywhere in the sun or moon and everything nice. Then all of a sudden something breaks… its a shock at first then it happens again and again. That attachment is breaking…

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Faded memories


my heart melts when the sun goes down | past weekend sunset

My heart melts when the sun goes down | past weekend sunset out my window

Once in a while you remember something that happened few years ago. It’s amazing how much can change in just a year and how much you grow. The people that are sometimes a huge part of your life fade away and sometimes you wonder where did they go? But once in a while you shake those thoughts off and just go on with your life routine and everyday flow. The moments that once made your heart melt seem so long ago. The things and people that were a huge part of your life once and then you decided to let go. The memories you remembered so well once, now don’t seem to matter as much as they did a year ago. The things that once made you smile the brightest, now don’t bring on your face that glow.

So where did those memories go? How come on your face they don’t bring the same glow? When you remember them now how come you shake those thoughts off and go on with your everyday work flow? Why did you decide to let go? How come they don’t matter as much as they did a year ago? The moments that made your heart melt why do they seem like so long ago? Where did those things and people go?

It’s because God decided to unveil it for you and He decided to show. What was once covered He decided to uncover it just for you to know. It happened not to hurt you but for you to grow. You learned and got stronger and moved on with your life routine and everyday flow. And as you did that, on you countless blessings He continued to bestow. You still smile but for different reasons now and your face still glows. Because you continued to walk instead of cry over one thing that is why those memories seem faded and so long ago. Almost as if they didn’t happen at all and you remember them as a tv show. So standing ovation to you for all that you decided to let go. It is amazing how much can change in just a year and how much you grow.

I forgot Him.


First thing in the morning

First thing in the morning

At night when I lay in bed, sleep took over me and I ignored all the blessings around me so I forgot Him. In the morning I was late and in rush forgetting who gave me another day to live so I forgot Him. At lunch I had so many plans ignoring that I have food in front of me that many don’t have so I forgot Him. I craved something and the next moment someone else brought it for me, I got over excited forgetting the One who knows my heart so I forgot Him. I was sick and spent those uncomfortable nights laying awake, then I got better and continued with my life forgetting who cured me so I forgot Him. I gave myself a cut by mistake and couldn’t use that hand for days, I took the bandage off and it was healed…I didn’t give a thought to who healed it so again I forgot Him. People treated me unfairly and I stayed quiet even when I was right… who gave me that patience I didn’t question so I forgot Him. I had so many things that needed to be done all in one day… at the end of the day I had it all done not giving a thought to how my day went so productive so I forgot Him. Others praised me for something, I smiled taking the credit and that moment I forgot Him. I achieved so much in my life I looked around me and still complained and I forgot Him. Some said I inspire them … I didn’t give a thought to who inspires me and that moment once again I forgot Him. I wanted something so badly but I didn’t ask for it, He still gave it to me and Yet I forgot Him. I had a roof over me. food to eat, bed to sleep and a family that loved me yet  I still desired other things so I forgot Him. I am ashamed that I forgot Him. I question myself why I forgot Him? He knows that I forgot Him. And He still gave me so much more than I asked for and didn’t leave a thing. Oh how big is our sin that we forgot Him?