Peace of mind!

create a favourite spot in your home.

create a favourite spot in your home.

I think I find it funny that the last time I wrote was about giving them a piece of your mind. Letting it out and show that you were not blind.But then you never know in tomorrow what will you find. In a month you can turn blind. By that  I don’t mean literally but by this world that you have been racing behind. This heart of yours constantly reminds. But from one thing to another through out the day… you don’t have time?

So you struggle day by day… just few minutes to yourself … just some thoughts… just to make sense of what is really on your mind. Running from one thing to another, keeping yourself together that nine to five grind. You complain to yourself, others around you and they try to be kind. But where is that peace of mind?!

You leave one thing for another, try to fit it all and a thought from the past runs through your mind. Where once you wanted to be busy, you wanted a routine, you got what you wanted? Oh wow? Your God is Most Kind (Surah Al-Hajj). You still have the nerves to sit here and complain that you don’t have time? When you once wanted it all, why are you so blind?

Being grateful for it all is where you will find that peace of mind. What you have been searching for, what your heart to you is trying to remind. Sometimes to get peace of mind you need to give yourself a piece of your own mind. Because truly your God is Most Kind. He is Most Kind.


The day you walk alone.

Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you.

Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you. Downtown Toronto

It’s been a while since I wrote. I guess you can say I was in the middle of the sea and got lost with my boat. There are times in our lives where we ask ourselves towards which way do we float? There is Someone there Who is pulling us towards this one way as if by a remote. Truth be told it is a long way. We walk and run, at times we think of it all as amusement and play (Surah Al-Hadid). Then we fall down while playing  shedding those tears and remember to once again pray. Who is guiding our way? Who is not letting us get lost and protecting us from being of those who from their path go astray?

One night in November you walk home alone. It is dark, it is quite and only through street lights the path is shown. The struggle you feel this night you never felt before. You cry and say out loud Oh God please let me sit right here on this road. Is it possible to not have the strength to walk not even to your house door? With a broken heart and no strength You keep going on and the pain you ignore.

You want to fall down or sit but something keeps pushing you from the back. Something keeps telling you that if you fall down on the road, you will loose this so you cannot slack. From all around you feel as if you are being attacked. Then all of a sudden as if you see light passing through a crack. It is a light from your home so you run towards it as fast as you can. And finally you reach home and you let it all out. You run to your room and let those tears finally fall down to the ground. There is no more pain or struggle, but rather tears of happiness and in your thoughts you drown…

There is finally an understanding of the concept that this is truly how your life goes. No matter what street you walk through at the end you must come home.  Since you know where your house is and to you the path is shown. Now you do a bit of exploring, get lost in few streets but as long as you get back to the street that is your own. We get lost many times in our lives but what matters is how many times we bring ourselves back towards the path that is known. No matter what we do in our lives we must return back to the One who owns the Throne ( Surah Al-Baqarah). Now it is up to us if we want to wander the streets being lost or do we want to return back home?

As long as we want to return to our home God won’t let us fall. At times we will walk and run and in hard times He will even help us crawl. As long as we keep the intention of returning back home He will even help us break walls. As long as we keep doing good on our way He won’t give up and will continue to call. This is your walk alone so at all times you must stand tall. People will walk with you for a while but then turn into the streets where their houses are. But at the end we all must get to our homes it is where we belong. It is all a matter of telling ourselves that you can do it because you are strong.

I forgot Him.

First thing in the morning

First thing in the morning

At night when I lay in bed, sleep took over me and I ignored all the blessings around me so I forgot Him. In the morning I was late and in rush forgetting who gave me another day to live so I forgot Him. At lunch I had so many plans ignoring that I have food in front of me that many don’t have so I forgot Him. I craved something and the next moment someone else brought it for me, I got over excited forgetting the One who knows my heart so I forgot Him. I was sick and spent those uncomfortable nights laying awake, then I got better and continued with my life forgetting who cured me so I forgot Him. I gave myself a cut by mistake and couldn’t use that hand for days, I took the bandage off and it was healed…I didn’t give a thought to who healed it so again I forgot Him. People treated me unfairly and I stayed quiet even when I was right… who gave me that patience I didn’t question so I forgot Him. I had so many things that needed to be done all in one day… at the end of the day I had it all done not giving a thought to how my day went so productive so I forgot Him. Others praised me for something, I smiled taking the credit and that moment I forgot Him. I achieved so much in my life I looked around me and still complained and I forgot Him. Some said I inspire them … I didn’t give a thought to who inspires me and that moment once again I forgot Him. I wanted something so badly but I didn’t ask for it, He still gave it to me and Yet I forgot Him. I had a roof over me. food to eat, bed to sleep and a family that loved me yet  I still desired other things so I forgot Him. I am ashamed that I forgot Him. I question myself why I forgot Him? He knows that I forgot Him. And He still gave me so much more than I asked for and didn’t leave a thing. Oh how big is our sin that we forgot Him?

The credit goes to you?


out my window.

We take pictures of the creation to show to the creation, to get credit from the creation for something we didn’t create.
Forgetting the Creator who created that creation because for everything the credit we ourselves want to take. 

Our hearts made of metal.

These fake hearts are more valuable; sad truth

These metal hearts are more valuable; sad truth

Its past midnight and I sit here and think. How heartless can we really be, I let this feeling inside me sink. You feel the pain of other when they are being unjustly treated because you find a link. But you do wrong to others so many times without even having a second thought or even letting your eyes blink. It is okay if you do it but wrong when others do the same. Only you have feelings while others don’t, such a shame. I can do whatever I want but when others do me wrong I can point fingers and blame. And we find happiness in watching people being treated badly because ‘oh they once did us wrong’… truly that is the world’s game.

But what is the matter with you why do you not help each other (Surah As-Saffat)? Why do you get happy when your mom is happy with you but gets mad at your brother?  Why do you not have the patience to slow your pace when walking behind someone who can’t walk fast?  How do you have the heart to stand there and watch a lion dragging a man away but rather making a video so it can last? When someone asks for your help why all of a sudden you are full of pride because they don’t know but you know it all? Why can’t you help one another it is not like by doing that you get small?

You hold a real live heart beating inside you. Is it as beautiful as you look from outside if someone was to look through? You can spend the whole day wasting time and money but you always give second thoughts if someone asks you for help or a dollar and two. You don’t know how to react or say two words of encouragement to someone who pours their heart to you. And then you sit here with a hard heart having no feelings towards anyone but you. It is not making you stronger but rather weak, it is sad how this world makes us believe the opposite, sad but true.

A heart dies when a human dies that is the truth. But your heart dies before you die if your world only revolves around you. My phone, my car, my clothes and my shoes. Of those suffering and dying please don’t describe to me that view. Because we are so busy living this fake life that we ourselves drew. The reality only hits us when the same experience we ourselves go through. How did we become so heartless? I am talking about me and you. Why do we not help one another through? It doesn’t matter if it is lending a pencil or giving in charity or even standing up for something that is true? It is all help at the end of the day and someone will appreciate it through. Wake you heart up and burst the bubble of this materialistic world that you created around you.

Step out to help the ones in need because Remember when you called on your God for help and He answered you (Surah Al-Anfal)?

Home sick

A canvas done for my best friend as a Ramadan gift.

A canvas done for my best friend as a Ramadan gift.

This month, these ten days once again are here. I see and hear of these people going and I cannot bear. My heart longs for that place and my eyes drop those tears. Just wanting to go one time and my experience I want to share. Whoever I ask about their experience they said that journey to any other they cannot compare. Making me wanting to fly across the sea as they tell their story and I just sit there. So I just end up watching it live on my computer and in awe I stare.

I want to walk these miles and go on that journey you have been to. I want to stand in front of the Kaaba and never move my eyes away from that view. I want to witness the sunrise and sunsets and watch those beautiful hues. I want to smile at the people of that city as if each other we always knew. I am home sick for a place I have never been to.

Blessed are the ones who get the opportunity to experience such a journey that we never been to. Blessed are the ones who come back with their hearts changed and humbled and as someone total new. Blessed are the ones whose eyes witnessed those beautiful views. Blessed are the ones who are walking that journey with or without any shoes.

So here I am, my heart not wanting to smile and there is nothing I can do. Beside sit here and ask for forgiveness for all that I have done which I don’t remember and have no clue. Wishing to be there right now and walk in those shoes. Because truly my heart is homesick for a place that I have never been to.

Gold in that glitter

love working with glitter; always searching for the gold.

love working with glitter; always searching for the gold.

Those lessons that you sometimes think back to. When you had a talk with someone and out of the whole thing that is the only thing towards which your attention drew. They said everything they wanted to and that one line you remembered till now that you sometimes think back to? That is the lesson you need to give value. Often times God sends you clues. They don’t fall down the sky but from different sources they come through. The reason you remember them up till now is because that is something you need to put your attention to. And work on improving yourself by putting your focus on that view.

It doesn’t matter if those people are still in your life or not. Because everyone stays in your life for a limited time if you give it a thought. Some walk away before others and to you some good lessons they taught. While others stick strong with you  till the end of time as if you have been tied in a knot. The ones that walk away sooner give you a lesson that you need to learn right now. But sometimes we put our focus on why they walked away from us, looking for answers to what and how? Rather than being thankful for the lesson we learned and how it made us wise … yes wow?

Today I reflect on how I learned. Sometimes you are taught the same lesson again and again till to it your attention you turn. Yes you get hurt sometimes but the wise ones are those who actually went through the pain to earn. Because if it wasn’t for the pain there is nothing that you will learn. Because new skin comes only after you get burned.

God does not test you beyond what you are capable of (Surah Al-Baqarah). So those lessons and  that one sentence you remember up till now take it as a gift sent from above. Today look back at what you remember and what you were taught. Through those people that are still in your life and those who decided to walk their own path. You will always remember something from the experiences you go through. Today sit back by yourself and think of each of them from a different point of view. Because in all that glitter of your life experiences those lessons are the only gold you will find hidden through.

Grateful yet still Ungrateful

Grapewine in my backyard; Can't wait to taste these and give them out as Sadaqa;

Grape wine in my backyard; if God wills can’t wait to taste these and give them out as Sadaqa;

Grateful yet still ungrateful I stand. Not able to count all the blessings and the way my life He planned. Sometimes  I sit there and into space I stare. I have thanked Him I think and have finished my prayer. Yet still not able to count all the blessings that I never asked for but they are there. There is sun and the moon, the sweet scented plants (Surah Ar-Rahman). You are breathing, you are healthy look at those fingers of your hands. Whatever you ask of Him much more than that He grants. It is such a blessing to acknowledge the blessings in your life, shed two tears or sit for a while and cry. Because really which of His favours in your life will you deny (Surah Ar-Rahman).

I am thankful for the times I am reminded so I sit there and count. What have I asked for and what I never asked for there is no fixed amount. The blessing itself is when you acknowledge the hidden blessing you never looked at before. You sit there in awe and feel like you are a small rock compared to the huge sea shore. I am thankful for everything He has given me but there is so much more. That I never realized or looked at and sometimes ignore. Grateful yet still ungrateful today we stand. Because truly He has given us much more than we can actually hold in our hands.

One cupcake at a time

Lunch at work, run to 4 blocks away to get cupcakes for my family; a treat because it is friday.

Today’s inspiration be lunch at work, running 4 blocks away to get cupcakes for my family; a treat because it is Friday.

Today I was out for lunch not to eat but I guess you can call it a run. I went few blocks away just to put a smile on the faces of my loved ones. It is the little things you do sometimes with good intentions for Allah’s sake. That sometimes bringing benefits for you in ways you never imagined isn’t that great. She was putting my order in the box as I saw. I was telling her I want this one and this one and it left me in awe. What if our lives was the same? What if we chose ourselves what we wanted in life then would we be the ones to blame? We should be glad and thankful that One God is looking above us and already knows what is written under our name. I think if we were to pick what we wanted and we would feel continuous shame.

It is not like we don’t get what we want because whatever you ask of Him He gives it all (Surah Ibraheem). Yet we don’t give thanks and walk around full of pride and tall. Being Humble is realizing that it is not you but God who controls it all. It is having everything in your hand and still thinking of yourself small. If you love those cupcakes and keep eating different flavours but one cupcake at a time. It is like this world where there are those never ending stairs you have to climb. After you eat them all it leaves you all hungry again. You keep wanting more and more but there is nothing that you will gain. Then you gain some weight now let me ask you who is the one to blame? Just like when these worldly things break your heart isn’t that a shame.

I love cake and I admit I wanted to try all flavours of them and wanted to buy it all.  Then I realized the need over my wants and decided to get only six from the smalls. I brought it home the intention was good so on their faces I did see a smile. Because we each took one and it was one cupcake at a time.

When your heart smiles

when your heart smiles

few days back drive with my beautiful parents along this beautiful sunset

Notice when you are grateful you seem to have more. It is when all around you see opened doors. If you are grateful God certainly increases for you more (Surah Ibraheem). Being Grateful is when you are satisfied with anything that comes towards you. It is when your heart wants to smile all the way through. What annoys us most are those pictures in our head that how everything is supposed to be. And then when things don’t go the way we plan we want to run away and flee. Few days back when we were just out for a drive. I stare out the window at the beautiful sunset as time passes by.  I took a deep breathe and it felt like I have walked few miles. I look out the window and then at my parents I felt a feeling that perhaps I haven’t felt for a while. It was the feeling when my heart wanted to smile. Your heart will smile only when you are thankful and find the time to do things that make you feel alive. Life is a continuous struggle but in the end what will matter is how hard you strive. So don’t feel bad when you fail or make mistakes just continue on with your drive. Because it is the lessons you will learn from your mistakes that later on will make your heart smile.