Life of Approvals


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There comes a time in a life where you feel like you are facing a wall. You are stuck, you can’t get over it, you feel so small. Sometimes everything happens at once and sometimes nothing happens at all. You can’t make a decision so you sit there crying and your eyes you bawl. Forgetting that this is your life and you must stand tall.

All that only happens only when you look towards others to make your decisions for you. Instead of hearing your own heart and listening to what it wants you to do. Recently someone told me get rid of your emotions will you? And I sit there and question with a dead heart how are you supposed to survive this life through? How do you walk around pretending you are OK and inside you don’t feel gray and blue? It is very easy for some while it becomes an everyday battle for some in their own shoes. To get up and pretend as their lives pass through. Their hearts already dead just waiting for them to be dead too. And this is a life story of so many if only you knew.

Can I do this? Can I do that? Asking others for approvals for things you actually want to do. Goals you want to achieve, visions you want to make true. And then someone answers no and you sit there think ‘maybe they are right and I am not capable for this to do.’ You keep hearing disapprovals from others that you end up living the average life as others do. Forgetting that the One who created you never limited your goals and visions and that He is the One who inspires you to do. He controls your Hearts and is the One who puts those feelings in your hearts for you.

And here you are being silly asking for approval from His creation as if they control you. Not standing up for yourself and what you want to do. Living to please others, scared they might not like you. Giving others power over yourself when God is the One holding all power and He is the One who created you. Letting your heart die and then feeling sorry for yourself too. When will you stand up for yourself and you decisions. Please tell me that will you? Is it today? Is it tomorrow? Will it be too late? Or will you find the courage to do it soon?

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Beautiful Distractions


 

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What is this world but a beautiful distraction? Something towards which we feel attraction. To our eyes it brings satisfaction. Our words may say something else but we give a total different message through our actions.

In this world it is so easy to get lost. Even if we can see a clear view, it is a matter of seconds for our focus to get lost. Getting into accidents because our road something crossed. Getting distracted then wondering why in the race we came last. Trying to achieve the best of this world at any cost.

This world failing us over and over again. We turn wise for a while then run after it without any shame. We want to fall down and keep looking for someone to finally understand our pain. So we look for that in other people and sit there to complain and complain. It’s a constant cycle as if we have built a chain. We complain and they complain as if we are saving each other from going down the drain. But why are we so deaf dumb and blind that we don’t use our brain?

We ourselves are responsible for creating the biggest barrier between our happiness. How insane! We know we will all go in the grave one day but we fill it up with mud as if that’s not a real thing. That is when we lose our focus, what a shame! So that is when the race begins, our hearts full of stains. Trying to justify our actions by saying but please let me explain.

Our heads confused and our hearts full of pain. Not being thankful for each and every grain. Forgetting the blessing of seeing through our eyes and getting annoyed with when it rains. So busy capturing moments on a camera that we forget what was the real thing. Sitting together with real people yet busy on our phones playing games. Then when they die we remember them as our main.

So why do we complain for all that pain? When we caused it all by ourselves because we went off the lane. When we are the ones who couldn’t stop ourselves and restrain. When we are the ones who wanted the best of this world and keep running after this train. When we are clearly given the real focus of this life and what we are really here to attain. Why do we still complain? Losing our happiness and focus and causing ourselves to drain. Oh what a shame!  What a shame!

I can’t find the words.


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I can’t find the words tonight, maybe you’ll hear my heart.  I don’t know where to begin, I don’t know where to start. I stand back and look at my life and it looks like a work of art. Sometimes you have it all together, sometimes it falls apart. Some days you wish for it all to restart.

You know the saying where a blessing comes as a test. Nowadays there are some counting the materialistic things and hash tagging it as ‘blessed’. We all fall for that once in a while not realizing that we are the same as all the rest. So how do you acknowledge whether it is a blessing or a test? Do we really sit down and think that this question must be addressed?

We get what we want and we say “omg so blessed’. While He may have given that you with so many different tests. Patience, sincerity, justice and humbleness. Sometimes to see how you deal with all the stress. What may seem like a blessing is a test on its own. Just to see if you will find your way back home. Not everything that shines is gold. He shows you that in His own way and then you heart turns cold. Confused, lost and your emotions uncontrolled. What you thought was perfect, was not perfect at the end. You are burdened you are tired, so you look for a friend. And once again your broken heart, it is He that mends.

They say that He tests the One he loves. And that He sends His blessings down from above. So much has happened you don’t know where to begin. Secrets that nobody knows where you wanted to crawl out of your skin? Times where you felt you were falling deeper and deeper into sin? Times where you did not have the strength to keep up that chin. But you walked through it all, crawled on your knees, ran where you could… tell me did you not win?

So tonight you can’t find the words because it was a mixture of all. You ran, you struggled, you let go and sometimes you ran into walls. Sometimes it was easy to get out, sometimes it was a close call. Who then gave you strength to still stand tall? The Only One hearing your heart right now is the One who already knows it all. He makes a way out for you no matter what befalls. He shows you in His own way of what you thought was the best, how imperfect it is all. What you thought was so big, in real how it is so small.

It’s been a long time.


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this way to home.

It’s been a long time when out of nowhere with these words I stopped.In the race of this life there are so many holes and traps over which you always have to hop. Sometimes you can run past them as fast as you can while other times you end up falling in those holes deeper than it was actually planned. It all really depends on what is in your heart. What your intentions are, where do you want to go and where did you start? If your intentions are to run home then there will be no stop for you no matter how many roads you find blocked. But if your intentions are to look around and make some stops here and there then know that you are bound to drop.

By dropping in the hole I don’t mean that’s your end. Remember it is about the intentions and where we actually began. Just by falling does not mean you will now stay in that trap. If your heart remembers the real goal of running home you will eventually begin to suffocate in that plastic wrap. But if your heart has moved far away, it will sit there lost and confused not knowing where to look and what to grab. It is all really a self process of how fast you can bring yourself back. Truly it is the intentions of our hearts that we really need to track.

Sometimes we run as fast as we can. But other times we fall not remembering our life purpose and where we began. Sometimes all it takes is a prayer or a thought to bring ourselves back. And other times we sit there with our confused minds, the ability to get up again we lack. It is all a struggle and everyday we get attacked. To check how far you have come is the only time you should look back!

Peace of mind!


create a favourite spot in your home.

create a favourite spot in your home.

I think I find it funny that the last time I wrote was about giving them a piece of your mind. Letting it out and show that you were not blind.But then you never know in tomorrow what will you find. In a month you can turn blind. By that  I don’t mean literally but by this world that you have been racing behind. This heart of yours constantly reminds. But from one thing to another through out the day… you don’t have time?

So you struggle day by day… just few minutes to yourself … just some thoughts… just to make sense of what is really on your mind. Running from one thing to another, keeping yourself together that nine to five grind. You complain to yourself, others around you and they try to be kind. But where is that peace of mind?!

You leave one thing for another, try to fit it all and a thought from the past runs through your mind. Where once you wanted to be busy, you wanted a routine, you got what you wanted? Oh wow? Your God is Most Kind (Surah Al-Hajj). You still have the nerves to sit here and complain that you don’t have time? When you once wanted it all, why are you so blind?

Being grateful for it all is where you will find that peace of mind. What you have been searching for, what your heart to you is trying to remind. Sometimes to get peace of mind you need to give yourself a piece of your own mind. Because truly your God is Most Kind. He is Most Kind.

If it comes back its yours?


Lunch at work and some "me" time at all time favorite spot.

Lunch at work and some “me” time at all time favorite spot.

Once again let’s talk about letting it go. If it comes back it is yours, of that how are you sure? Perhaps it came back for you as a test if you can once again let it go? Why are you looking back at those closed doors?

Within those closed doors was once where you felt secure. Till one day when it pushed up back and on your face it closed. And up till this day you think for your heart ache that is where you will find the cure.

You try to be patient till God finally will open the next door. At times you get impatient and about what’s ahead you seem unsure. Ignoring that God is with the patient ones (Surah Al-Baqarah) and to you again and again He assures.

So why can’t you let it go  what you once called yours? Why can’t you trust that something better is planned for you at the next door?

Something better for all that you endured. Something better where your heart will feel secure. Something better that you can finally call yours.

Inside out.


Countless.

Countless.

There are some people in our lives that we refer to saying they know us inside out. We can go to them for anything, share with them any secret, and trust them without a doubt. And then a day comes we find out this one little thing that we could never imagine or think about. And we cry out loud calling ourselves stupid for trusting them and all of a sudden we have countless reasons of why we hate them and all those words we want to shout…

Silly us for first of all for even thinking that another creation can know us inside out. You are created and the other person is also created, that is a fact with no doubt. It is so easy to rely on other things and people in this world, something we actually look for in our lives through out. Truth be told this life will never be easy either with certain things or even without. And then there are people who we thought we knew  inside out. We felt happy knowing them thinking we know what’s in their hearts and sometimes because of that we felt proud. And then they do something so we sit here and wonder out loud. That how could they do this to us we would have never thought or imagined we want to question and shout…

Take a minute to get to know yourself before getting so interested in knowing the other creation inside out. Take a minute to think before you give someone the title that they know you inside out. Because really if you think about it that is not something for which you should feel proud. Because that one secret you never shared with anyone there is still Someone who knows the whole story behind it without a doubt. And He is the Only One that knows your heart and truly knows you inside out. He is the Only One that knows your wants and needs and knows what you think about. He knows you inside out. I can say this without a doubt.

Selfish love


It's not always about you.

These cupcakes from a friend’s bridal party reminding me that it’s not always about you.

Maybe It’s weird that I am thinking about love while being in bed because of fever and flu. Is it selfish or not? For some it is sadly that is true. There is selfishness in a type of love that only makes you think about you. The other person is always wrong and only you can be true. Only you have a thinking and you don’t try to understand the other person’s point of view. You never bother to look at things or try walking in the other person’s shoes. What you like, what you want is the only thing others should do. And then you get frustrated when things don’t remain the same between you. And you ignore that once these people were truer than true. Is this really love? Sadly yes and we all have that within us including me and you.

There has been times in our lives when we have either been an example of this or been treated like this by someone we knew. And we have only realized this when we stepped back and looked at the situation from a different point of view. Sometimes we are totally wrong but sometimes others don’t understand us even if we are true.  As if all of a sudden they are deaf, dumb and blind and sometimes that is exactly the reason why from them faraway we grew. Which is actually surprising because once upon a time we used to be stuck together like glue.

The ones who understand the meaning of love are actually very few. The ones who like others for who they are and are not trying to change them into an ideal image they drew. Who not only talk but have the patience to understand the other person’s point of view. And those who have the courage to actually walk in other people’s shoes. What others like they actually step out of their comfort zone to try it too.

Truth be told the unselfish love is not found in this world even if we try searching for it all the way through. Because The One who loves us unconditionally is the One who created me and you. The reason we get frustrated is because we are searching for love that will fill this space in our hearts and be always true. But that space is only filled with God’s love, the reason why to Him we always turn to. But sadly because of searching for love in this world from Him faraway we drew.

And then you spend hours and days thinking over why you can’t work things out between others and you?  Why can’t others try to understand your point of view?  It is only because you are thinking about yourself and sometimes you are called selfish too. Yet you still search for that unconditional love and sadly you want it while you still think about only yourself too.

Worldly trend.


IMG_20141213_004915Countless lessons you keep learning as His blessings He sends. To be wise is one thing but there was a time on this world you continued to spend. You were searching for happiness as if it is a worldly trend. Till you realized that it is all a game to pretend. Till you learned that we are all the same and on each other we can’t really depend. Till you felt the happiness from giving just for God’s sake and the times a helping hand you lend. Till you started having conversations with people you didn’t know as if for many years you have been friends…

The day you walk alone.


Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you.

Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you. Downtown Toronto

It’s been a while since I wrote. I guess you can say I was in the middle of the sea and got lost with my boat. There are times in our lives where we ask ourselves towards which way do we float? There is Someone there Who is pulling us towards this one way as if by a remote. Truth be told it is a long way. We walk and run, at times we think of it all as amusement and play (Surah Al-Hadid). Then we fall down while playing  shedding those tears and remember to once again pray. Who is guiding our way? Who is not letting us get lost and protecting us from being of those who from their path go astray?

One night in November you walk home alone. It is dark, it is quite and only through street lights the path is shown. The struggle you feel this night you never felt before. You cry and say out loud Oh God please let me sit right here on this road. Is it possible to not have the strength to walk not even to your house door? With a broken heart and no strength You keep going on and the pain you ignore.

You want to fall down or sit but something keeps pushing you from the back. Something keeps telling you that if you fall down on the road, you will loose this so you cannot slack. From all around you feel as if you are being attacked. Then all of a sudden as if you see light passing through a crack. It is a light from your home so you run towards it as fast as you can. And finally you reach home and you let it all out. You run to your room and let those tears finally fall down to the ground. There is no more pain or struggle, but rather tears of happiness and in your thoughts you drown…

There is finally an understanding of the concept that this is truly how your life goes. No matter what street you walk through at the end you must come home.  Since you know where your house is and to you the path is shown. Now you do a bit of exploring, get lost in few streets but as long as you get back to the street that is your own. We get lost many times in our lives but what matters is how many times we bring ourselves back towards the path that is known. No matter what we do in our lives we must return back to the One who owns the Throne ( Surah Al-Baqarah). Now it is up to us if we want to wander the streets being lost or do we want to return back home?

As long as we want to return to our home God won’t let us fall. At times we will walk and run and in hard times He will even help us crawl. As long as we keep the intention of returning back home He will even help us break walls. As long as we keep doing good on our way He won’t give up and will continue to call. This is your walk alone so at all times you must stand tall. People will walk with you for a while but then turn into the streets where their houses are. But at the end we all must get to our homes it is where we belong. It is all a matter of telling ourselves that you can do it because you are strong.