I can’t find the words.


I can’t find the words tonight, maybe you’ll hear my heart.  I don’t know where to begin, I don’t know where to start. I stand back and look at my life and it looks like a work of art. Sometimes you have it all together, sometimes it falls apart. Some days you wish for it all to restart.

You know the saying where a blessing comes as a test. Nowadays there are some counting the materialistic things and hash tagging it as ‘blessed’. We all fall for that once in a while not realizing that we are the same as all the rest. So how do you acknowledge whether it is a blessing or a test? Do we really sit down and think that this question must be addressed?

We get what we want and we say “omg so blessed’. While He may have given that you with so many different tests. Patience, sincerity, justice and humbleness. Sometimes to see how you deal with all the stress. What may seem like a blessing is a test on its own. Just to see if you will find your way back home. Not everything that shines is gold. He shows you that in His own way and then you heart turns cold. Confused, lost and your emotions uncontrolled. What you thought was perfect, was not perfect at the end. You are burdened you are tired, so you look for a friend. And once again your broken heart, it is He that mends.

They say that He tests the One he loves. And that He sends His blessings down from above. So much has happened you don’t know where to begin. Secrets that nobody knows where you wanted to crawl out of your skin? Times where you felt you were falling deeper and deeper into sin? Times where you did not have the strength to keep up that chin. But you walked through it all, crawled on your knees, ran where you could… tell me did you not win?

So tonight you can’t find the words because it was a mixture of all. You ran, you struggled, you let go and sometimes you ran into walls. Sometimes it was easy to get out, sometimes it was a close call. Who then gave you strength to still stand tall? The Only One hearing your heart right now is the One who already knows it all. He makes a way out for you no matter what befalls. He shows you in His own way of what you thought was the best, how imperfect it is all. What you thought was so big, in real how it is so small.