A sleepless night


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There are nights when you can’t fall asleep. Your heart wants to talk and your eyes want to weep. You don’t know where life is going, the road ahead looks very steep. You don’t know what to count on, you don’t know what is there to keep. You don’t know the traps ahead you don’t know when to jump and leap. So you lay there in the dark wondering, sighing and taking breathes that are deep. Hoping that in a while someone will come looking for you and take you back home as if you are a lost sheep…

What brings peace to your heart is that there is Someone else who knows all these thoughts tonight that are hidden within you very deep. What puts you sleep at the end is that there is Someone who will protect you from those puddles and will teach you when to jump and leap. The one who created your heart is who it wants to connect to and to Him your eyes want to complain to and weep. And here you are wondering what is wrong with life and why you can’t sleep…

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Worldly trend.


IMG_20141213_004915Countless lessons you keep learning as His blessings He sends. To be wise is one thing but there was a time on this world you continued to spend. You were searching for happiness as if it is a worldly trend. Till you realized that it is all a game to pretend. Till you learned that we are all the same and on each other we can’t really depend. Till you felt the happiness from giving just for God’s sake and the times a helping hand you lend. Till you started having conversations with people you didn’t know as if for many years you have been friends…

The pain you feel.


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one of the favorite from fall season I took.

The pain you feel in your heart from not getting what you wanted to happen someday it will outgrow. It will take a month or two or even years give it time it will be slow. There will be times where you will have no strength to face this world and you will feel low. There will be times you will be lost in your thoughts trying to figure out where you went wrong though. There will also be times you will be annoyed and you will ignore all the other blessings on you that has been bestowed. But it’s okay let it all out so you can let it go. Because to see the beauty of your current situations the past thoughts and plans you need to get rid of and throw. Eventually you will get used to it all and start liking your routine but sometimes you will think of everything that you wanted to happen though.  Those thoughts come back to you not to annoy but to make you realize and show. That you can also be happy in a place that you never wanted to go. Always remember He knows what you do not know (Surah al-baqarah). And a day will come sooner or later when God will reveal it to you and show.

 

Didn’t forget!


Toronto |  This beautiful view form a friend's room.

Toronto | This beautiful view from a friend’s room.

Sometimes we take the right decisions but the past we never forget. Sometimes you move on with your life with the right things but your decisions at times you still regret. Sometimes we miss the past and sit quietly and one or two tears we shed. And sometimes all around us people go on with their lives ignoring how we feel and seeing our lives as all set.

But you didn’t forget, you didn’t forget. The times you were helpless and the times they all left. The times they made you feel so weak as if they have done so much and on your shoulders there is so much debt. The time they mocked you and threw you down as a burnt cigarette.  And then they ignore what happened in the past as if it is easy to forget.

Only God was there to show you a way when you needed to be led. Only He was there who saw and you He didn’t forget. And now when your life is all set… they come back offering you the same that you once wanted ignoring that you were once upset. He sees what you want and makes you free of the want and now you don’t want to get (Surah ad-Duha). It’s all in your head what they once said. It’s all in your heart what you once felt. They remember it all but pretend to forget. But you need to let them know that you didn’t forget!

Because you didn’t forget, you didn’t forget. All those tears that you once shed. You didn’t forget how you once felt. When they all walked away and all by yourself you were left. You didn’t forget who then came as always to help. You didn’t forget and He didn’t forget.

The day you walk alone.


Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you.

Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you. Downtown Toronto

It’s been a while since I wrote. I guess you can say I was in the middle of the sea and got lost with my boat. There are times in our lives where we ask ourselves towards which way do we float? There is Someone there Who is pulling us towards this one way as if by a remote. Truth be told it is a long way. We walk and run, at times we think of it all as amusement and play (Surah Al-Hadid). Then we fall down while playing  shedding those tears and remember to once again pray. Who is guiding our way? Who is not letting us get lost and protecting us from being of those who from their path go astray?

One night in November you walk home alone. It is dark, it is quite and only through street lights the path is shown. The struggle you feel this night you never felt before. You cry and say out loud Oh God please let me sit right here on this road. Is it possible to not have the strength to walk not even to your house door? With a broken heart and no strength You keep going on and the pain you ignore.

You want to fall down or sit but something keeps pushing you from the back. Something keeps telling you that if you fall down on the road, you will loose this so you cannot slack. From all around you feel as if you are being attacked. Then all of a sudden as if you see light passing through a crack. It is a light from your home so you run towards it as fast as you can. And finally you reach home and you let it all out. You run to your room and let those tears finally fall down to the ground. There is no more pain or struggle, but rather tears of happiness and in your thoughts you drown…

There is finally an understanding of the concept that this is truly how your life goes. No matter what street you walk through at the end you must come home.  Since you know where your house is and to you the path is shown. Now you do a bit of exploring, get lost in few streets but as long as you get back to the street that is your own. We get lost many times in our lives but what matters is how many times we bring ourselves back towards the path that is known. No matter what we do in our lives we must return back to the One who owns the Throne ( Surah Al-Baqarah). Now it is up to us if we want to wander the streets being lost or do we want to return back home?

As long as we want to return to our home God won’t let us fall. At times we will walk and run and in hard times He will even help us crawl. As long as we keep the intention of returning back home He will even help us break walls. As long as we keep doing good on our way He won’t give up and will continue to call. This is your walk alone so at all times you must stand tall. People will walk with you for a while but then turn into the streets where their houses are. But at the end we all must get to our homes it is where we belong. It is all a matter of telling ourselves that you can do it because you are strong.