A Strong Heart.


thoughts over green tea tonight.

Thoughts over green tea Last night.

A strong heart is not the one that has a lot but it is the one that knows how to give. It is not the one that is filled with love for so many materialistic things but rather for others that heart wants to live. It is not the one that holds grudges and wants to take revenge but the one that learns how to forgive. It is not the one that is blunt and rude but the one that understands others and is soft. It is not the one that gets so much attention from everyone but rather the one that enjoys its own company and makes sure in this world it is not lost. It is not the one that backs off but stands up for others at no cost. It is one that is true to others and not the one that filters its words and feelings and adds all that frost. Our hearts constantly get stronger when we go through life experiences and reflect on what is still in our life and what didn’t last. It is through patience, strength, motivation and reflection, our hearts continue to strive, crawl, walk and run fast. So be grateful today for all that happened in the past. And be thankful to the One that made your heart strong enough that It didn’t let you fall and all that you passed.

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I forgot Him.


First thing in the morning

First thing in the morning

At night when I lay in bed, sleep took over me and I ignored all the blessings around me so I forgot Him. In the morning I was late and in rush forgetting who gave me another day to live so I forgot Him. At lunch I had so many plans ignoring that I have food in front of me that many don’t have so I forgot Him. I craved something and the next moment someone else brought it for me, I got over excited forgetting the One who knows my heart so I forgot Him. I was sick and spent those uncomfortable nights laying awake, then I got better and continued with my life forgetting who cured me so I forgot Him. I gave myself a cut by mistake and couldn’t use that hand for days, I took the bandage off and it was healed…I didn’t give a thought to who healed it so again I forgot Him. People treated me unfairly and I stayed quiet even when I was right… who gave me that patience I didn’t question so I forgot Him. I had so many things that needed to be done all in one day… at the end of the day I had it all done not giving a thought to how my day went so productive so I forgot Him. Others praised me for something, I smiled taking the credit and that moment I forgot Him. I achieved so much in my life I looked around me and still complained and I forgot Him. Some said I inspire them … I didn’t give a thought to who inspires me and that moment once again I forgot Him. I wanted something so badly but I didn’t ask for it, He still gave it to me and Yet I forgot Him. I had a roof over me. food to eat, bed to sleep and a family that loved me yet  I still desired other things so I forgot Him. I am ashamed that I forgot Him. I question myself why I forgot Him? He knows that I forgot Him. And He still gave me so much more than I asked for and didn’t leave a thing. Oh how big is our sin that we forgot Him?

The difference between us.


How I spent my weekend and where my thoughts led me...

How I spent my weekend and where my thoughts led me to think about the differences…

If someone came down today to give you a $5 bill. Would you feel the same happiness as a beggar sitting on the street and the same thrill? If like some people we had only one water bottle to drink, would we still waste it and not care about those spills. If we had almost nothing to eat… would we care about others first or our stomachs we would still want to fill?

The thought is that it is not easy to put your hands out in front of someone. The people who do it, there are probably many times they want to get up from that spot and run. They ask each person that passes by and we all sometimes ignore because we have ‘better’ things that need to be done.  We often have those thoughts that why can’t they get up and go do something, it is not like they can’t do none? They loose their self respect doing this and their shoulders probably weigh a ton.  And we pass by telling ourselves, turn your face to the other side hun.

Poor people are often the most generous, they say. Perhaps if they get a lot of wealth, they might change today. They might even start having the same thoughts that we have sometimes and think of them in the same way. So I guess it is the wealth in the end that gets the blame? We change because we have some dollars in our hands, such a shame. Truly in a second we can fly and fall down on the ground, that is this world’s game. The differences we create between ourselves are just the starting flames. What is our aim? Do we want to be well-known, have all that money and the fame? Or are we the humble and generous ones, is that how people remember us and know our name?

Seasons of our hearts


I look forward to this season to see these colours at my beautiful window | Truly home is where the heart is.

I look forward to this season to see these beautiful colours at my window | Truly home is where the heart is.

       Sometimes our heart sees what we cannot see with our eyes. How beautiful is the heart that desires something but is shy. Sometimes it attaches itself with things and people and makes it so hard for us to say goodbye.At times it lets us smile from outside but from the inside it silently cries. Sometimes it feels guilty for days because we told that one lie. And sometimes it feels such strong feelings that no matter how hard we push the thoughts away we cannot deny.

    Sometimes it builds up so much strength and pushes us again and again to once again try. And sometimes it fills itself with so much patience to stop us and let people and things walk by. Often it gets so excited and makes us believe that we can fly. It changes so many seasons but often it has no tears left to cry. Sometimes we have no feelings because it gets so hard just like the soil that dries. Sometimes it wants to give so much to others and feels big just like the sky. Often it gives us reminders that makes us give thoughts to a matter and question why? Often it gives up without even telling us to retry. And often it lets us sleep with one feeling and in the morning new feelings it passes by.

   But when we don’t listen to what it says that is when we silently let it die. When we don’t take the time to feel what others feels that is when we don’t let it cry. Our hearts are alive we forget that at times and keep letting our lives pass by. Then a day comes in our lives when we feel so hurt and feel this pain that we don’t know on who to rely. If only we took care of our heart just like it takes care of us… sigh. It doesn’t ask much from us but when we keep doing wrong it slowly dies. It silently guides us from within … truly there is no limit to how beautiful is the heart that is shy.

Rejections


Getting inspired by these beauties on a rainy day.

Getting inspired by these yummy ice cream truffles on a rainy day.

It is hard for us to face rejection. Because around us we want no negativity and from others always want to see affection. There are many times we don’t even want something but when we get rejected by it we want to compete. Why didn’t I get selected, Why didn’t they pick me… that wanting of always being on top and others we want to beat. Not realizing that we got rejected by this because there is something better waiting for us down the street.

You can keep tasting chocolates till you eat the one that tastes best out of all. You will keep getting rejected until you have enough experience to still stand tall. You will keep getting rejected at interviews till you reach the one job that is meant to be yours. You will keep facing rejection till you reach that person you are actually  made for. You will keep asking for help in something and getting rejected till you knock on that one door. And you will keep failing that test over and over again till you get enough practice to get the highest score.

It is hard for us to face rejection because we always want to win. It doesn’t matter if we don’t even want that thing. We still busy ourselves with competing, loosing our sleep over it and making our heads spin. We get rejected only because there is something better for us at end. Think back to your life today and all those rejections through which you have been. Would you have all that you have today, or all that you did achieve if you stopped at that thing? We always think we know what is best for us but it is actually God who knows it all (Surah al-baqarah) and that is how it has always been. But sadly we forget it every time by competing, because this world we are trying to win.

Breaking off attachments


IMG-20141013-WA020

Everything and everyone in our lives will one day leave us at a point. We will feel empty when they leave thinking back to when we thought us, they would never disappoint. A time comes in our lives that slowly all the attachments break. The family members pass away, the daughters get married, and the sons have their own families you can say. Our friends make new friends and families they need to look after everyday. And here we are sitting with empty hearts and a heart ache.

We think we finally found the people who understand our hearts but there is also a time comes when we realize and say to ourselves what a mistake. Why did we share that secret or tell them that story, we should have just stayed quiet for God’s sake. We feel disappointed when the attachments break. But we don’t realize that God is still here, the One who created us and that is where on our thoughts we need to put a break. It is so easy to be dependent on someone if they keep doing things for you and so easily  from them everything we want to take. But some also have the hearts to walk away so easily forgetting the ones who for them stayed awake.

Everything we get attached to in this world will some day walk away. Every thing we depend on in this world will some day break. You have to keep breaking your heart by breaking off these worldly attachments day by day. It is not to hurt you or give you a heart ache. But rather to build you stronger and protect you from all the fake. It is to make you be independent and not lay there in your bed worrying over what others think of you and spending all your nights awake. It is to help you to not expect anything from anyone besides God and doing things only for His sake!

Five before five


I love productive days. Today was one of them.

I love productive days. Today was one of them.

Don’t you just love productive days where you feel like you got so much done. The days where you feel you are so organized and are on a constant run.  Recently I woke up one morning  panicking at the fact how fast time is flying. Then I felt better by reflecting over how much I achieved in the past 6 months and that motivated me to keep trying. Life is a continuous struggle but what will matter in the end is how hard we strive. And we can’t try our best if we don’t care of our five before five (hadith).

We must take care of  our youth before our old age. And we can truly take care of that when we understand that everyday in our lives is a new page. Your life is where you give your best performance and you must always think of it as your personal stage. Things that don’t benefit us is those many times in our lives we engage. But what matters is how fast we come back to realizing and freeing ourselves from that cage.

Next is taking care of our health before we fall sick. Take it as an example that you are walking without a burden and all of a sudden on your shoulders there is a heavy brick. With that brick now you can’t walk as fast and there are many things that go on a delay which before you could have done quick.

Your wealth before you go broke. It is better to be wise and not waste all that money as if life is a joke. Because once you are done with your wealth there is really nobody who will help you sincerely and that is usually when God many people invoke.

Your free time before your days get all booked up. And you can’t find the time to even sit with your family just for one tea cup. And then you remember those days you were all free and didn’t do much. And now you don’t have time for anything just your luck.

Lastly we must take care of our life before our death. Because it is all over and done when we take our last breath. Leaving behind our health, time, our age and our wealth. There is nothing much that can be done then there is no one then who we can ask for help.

Always something there.


Harbour Front Toronto

Harbour Front Toronto got to be my favourite spot to sit alone and reflect.

You wonder why something is always there to remind. When you try to leave the past and forget about what you left behind. You try to stop those memories and thoughts that come in to your mind. You try to close your eyes when you see something that comes in front of you to remind. As if by closing your eyes you… they won’t be able to find. And then you think why it is happening to you when you are trying to walk away from it… why is this world so unkind?

I reflect on the past a lot because that is what helps you improve. Thinking about everything that happened is what helps you to move. It is what motivates you to prove. And it is exactly what strengthens you to acknowledge all the negativity in your life that you need to remove. Sometimes when you remember people you removed from  life you wonder if they think of you too. Do they remember you? Does something always remind them of you too? And I admit it is very annoying when you have no answers and you sit there without a clue. And you try to put your mind somewhere else reminding yourself everything that happened and try to focus outside the window on that view…

When others do you wrong let them do it anyway. It is hard at first but after a while you have the strength to easily walk away. The people who do you wrong will remember you day by day. They will always remember what they did to you even if they don’t admit and say. They are so interested in your life that the spaces in their hearts is filled by knowing what’s going on in your life and how you are spending your days. Even if you block and delete them out of your life … to find out where you are they will try their best to find a way. That is when you need to sit back and enjoy their game and how they play.

It is important for you to block and delete them fully and get away. Because if not you are just putting your life on display. You are letting them know that you are either hurt or living your life in full way. And either one of those can be played against you in so many different ways.  They are definitely annoyed by how you blocked them away. Because now they don’t know how to fill that space in their heart that is empty and they don’t know how to replace.

Now back to why something always comes back to you to remind. Take it as a blessing because God is So Kind. Through those little thoughts and memories that you remember here and there during your day. He blesses you with the strength to get over it day by day. Because in the start we all tend to push the thoughts as far back as we can just so in our minds it won’t stay. But in real we need as much time to get over something as we gave when we allowed that thing or person in our lives to stay.

It is preparing you for something greater that you may not see today. He gives us the patience to see how we react when that thing comes in front of us again and again. Do we feel our heart break inside every time we see it or do we just take a deep breathe, get over it and walk away?  I think that will be the question for today.

Forget you too!


Forget them in the same way you forget these leaves that fall off every year

Forget them in the same way you forget these leaves that fall off every year

Forget the people who forgot you.  You think about it again and again all day through. Making up scenarios in your head with all these conversations that are new. Wanting to go back to what passed by you. While they walk away with their lives forgetting you.

The respect that you have… you hold it in your hands. You can throw it on the ground in someone’s feet or grip it hard and always stand. Respect yourself enough to let it not pass through between your fingers as sand. It is not a matter of having pride but it is respecting who you are. It is not about seeing yourself higher than others but believing in who you are. When someone walks out of your life and in your heart you feel that empty space. That is when the test comes of if you let yourself fall on the ground or do you still walk with that beautiful grace?

There is a reason why those people didn’t come forward with you. There is a matter in the future that you can’t see through. There are situations from which God is saving you. And yet you sit here remembering and  getting lost in thoughts and that is nothing new. If they show by their words and actions that they forgot you. Don’t get panicked and worried and try to come back into their view. That is where you need to block, delete and put your focus back towards only ‘you’.

And tell them that forget you too!!

Quality in your quantity.


Rainy Days.

Rainy Days and I am just here taking pictures of the creation.

There are times we measured how much to others we gave. Oh they only gave me this much so I can’t give no more than that, let me just save. It is not really about how much we can give or not. It is how much quality we put into that thought. You can even give a penny and still have intentions that are true. And you can give millions of dollars and fill your heart with pride all the way through. Sometimes others ask for help and we agree. We help them in the limited ways because always on top it can only be me. Setting ourselves up for competition when really we can just feel good by helping them and set ourselves free. Give as much as you can but with the right thoughts. Tell yourself you are here to help them and you will give it your best shot. It doesn’t matter if we hand a penny over or the million dollars  car we bought. At the end of the day you can sleep peacefully by knowing that the quantity you gave was full of quality and to someone somewhere that means a lot!