Motivated to write one line a day last year when I went on a trip. I look back at so many empty pages and all the dates I have skipped. It is a 5 year memory book who knows what will happen in 5 years at that time I couldn’t predict. There are things I wrote in there that are now the pages I always want to flip. The time I bought it I was a bit scared that what will I write. What will go on this memory book of mine… everything that I have planned will it go right? It is funny because I haven’t wrote in it much about the good times that I had. Maybe because I was too busy enjoying them and being glad. Then I realized there isn’t much written about the times I was mad. I guess I was too busy thinking about the situations and everything that I thought in my life was bad. Next I look at times I was sad. I won’t make a excuse but I think I haven’t wrote much of those either because I guess in my memory book I didn’t want to add.
So what have I really written in this book of mine? things that were once important to me and I guess in my life they used to shine. I wrote about things, people and places that were important to me. I look back at how everything used to be. Where I stand today one year ago I couldn’t see. A constant reminder to myself about leaving the past .. its for Allah and just let it be.
They say a poet is not a poet unless they feel hurt. It is when you fall down on ground and from your face have to wipe the dirt. It is when you have words that seem to fill in the blanks that you can insert. It is when you feel you just woke up in life and just got alert. I have written in the past and at the end of the year just closed the books. no matter what the past has been never bothered to take second looks. It doesn’t matter what the past has been it will always hurt. But no matter what you do you can never shut. At one point or another you will remember it all. Wanting to go back to the good times or the bad times you will recall. If you are not being grateful for the present then remembering either one of those you are building for yourself a wall. four walls turn into a room into that you just want to crawl. It is that place you build for yourself where you sit with your thoughts and everything you remember and recall. It is those thoughts you build your judgements on and look at every detail of the past and present no matter how small.
Why do we want to live in the past I must ask? Why do we always want to wear that “having a good time” mask? I realize that it is all an exam of life and sometimes there are hard tasks. but that does not mean we cry over one hard thing and of all the good times lose track. The good or the bad times both don’t last forever it is a cycle and they all come back. I think it is trusting God what in our lives we really lack. What we don’t remember is that He is the One that brought good times and made the bad times go away… now forgetting that…isn’t it sad!
Maybe one day someone will read this book after me and learn a thing or two. Maybe someone will find it beneficial enough to go through. Maybe some day someone will see things exactly from my point of view. and Maybe someday after 5 years I will go back and reflect on the things that happened and will ask myself who knew? all this time the past, present He knew. He just wanted you to understand it after you grew.
It is the pennies that turn into a dollar one day. It is one line a day that turn into a story you say. Someday you will be thankful that not all your prayers were answered right away. Someday you will look back at what you used to be and will thank God that He showed you the right way. Someday you will realize that the things, people, places that were in your past you are glad that from them you walked away.
Until then keep writing that one line a day.
Because darling life is full of happenings and you just have so much to say.